The Meaning of Life with Dr. Bob

Marge came through the doorway of my office with her arms wrapped tightly around her as if she was clinging to someone.

She sat in the visitor’s chair never releasing her grip on herself. She seemed uptight, I thought, as though she can’t let go of something or someone. I didn’t realize how close I had guessed at the truth.

“How can I help, Marge?” I asked.

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She said, “I am just not happy. I can’t get past something to find happiness. I’ve tried meditation as you have instructed. I have given it patience and regularity. I seemed to be no farther ahead than when I first began. My mind is still muddled when I try to meditate. I am looking for answers.”

Well, that was a bit of baggage, wasn’t it?

She still never let go of her grasp of herself.

“Marge, did you realize that you are gripping yourself tightly with your arms?” I asked.

“What? Oh, I know. I don’t know why I do that.”

I took an arrogant guess by saying, “I think I know what you are doing. There is someone or something you can’t let go of. That clinging is keeping you from finding happiness.”

“I … I don’t know …,” Marge stammered.

I asked directly, “What are you holding on to?”

Marge looked at me with what might appear to be hate. She held that glare several seconds. Finally, her face began to soften by degrees. Obviously there was a real battle going on inside her.

“I can’t forgive my mother for dying. She was just sixty-five. In her last years she seemed not to care about herself anymore and ate and drank to what I believe was an early grave. She was never happy in all my memories of her.”

“You haven’t let her go, have you, Marge?”

She snapped that look of what might be hate at me again. Once again her face softened only by degrees. Her arms loosened from around her just a little for the time first since she hove into sight.

“She was such a comfort. But I can’t find any more comfort from her now that she is passed.”

“You can’t cling to a ghost, Marge. Give her up,” I said.

We sat in silence for a minute or so. During that time, as if in a slow motion movie, Marge released her grip upon herself. Her hands drifted as autumn leafs falling from trees, it seemed, into her lap. Peace came to reside in her face.

I broke the silence by saying, “Now follow the techniques you have been taught to discover happiness for yourself. I think you will have a better time of it now.”

She rose to depart and shook my hand and gave me a smile that expressed her gratitude, though she was obvious moved to speechlessness.

Here is a short course in finding and maintaining happiness. Develop a life of meditation or prayer. I believe there is only one way to contact the Source of All There Is and that is through a meditative connection with the Source.

Then maintain that linkage through regular use of the meditative arts. Notice, please, I used the plural, “arts.” There are many ways to meditate so find one that fits you best. You may even want to experiment to find one that is best for you.

In that connection with the Source, you will find that you are totally and unconditionally accepted. There is your happiness. For there is nothing greater or finer than being completely and fundamentally accepted.

When you have found that happiness that passes understanding, you will have found the meaning of your life, I believe. Your meaning is to be happy.

That happiness, then, is played out in experience in the world. Your life-purpose is to experience. You experience by being in relationship to all you encounter – be that person, animal or thing.

Marge had learned all these techniques and ideas through her time in the community I lead. She was just so tied up in mental ropes because she could not release her mother.

When you cling too tightly to anything or anyone, you will not be as happy as you will without those attachments. Detach yourself. That is, do not cling so tightly that you stifle any other relationship – like with the Source of All There Is.

Start today to detach yourself from your “clinging” and develop a solid and permanent relationship with the Source of All That Is through the meditative arts.

This has been Dr. Bob 4 U, and I invite you to change your life for the better by claiming your Free Instant Access to a Force-Source-Resource including a monthly newsletter titled The Force-Source-Resource Newsletter. Just Click Here. Remember, one bit of information can give you a lifetime of satisfaction.

My Vlog: http://themeaningoflifewithdrbob.com/drbobslifephrases

One Person Can Change The World

Pursuing happiness may make you feel worse, at least temporarily. Here are five things of which to beware.

1. You might find out that you were not as happy as you had thought. Looking into happiness and how to have it, you may see that you were further down the ladder than you first imagined.

Don’t worry, this is only temporary; your way is up.

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2. Speaking of the way up, you may feel you have such a long way to go that it might not be worth the effort. Understandable.

But don’t quit because the task looks daunting. When you achieve happiness, you will have seen the climb for what it is – inevitable.

3. By a similar token you may see the task and believe you will never make it. Of course, if you believe you can’t, you can’t. As with everything else worth doing, take it one step at a time.

You will make it.

4. When you scope out your own happiness, you may be tempted to see how you are doing as compared to others.

Never compare yourself to others in regard to happiness.

They have their own path to follow and it will be, by definition, different than yours.

Besides, you have no idea what they have to overcome to find happiness.

5. All said above may lead you to inertia – finding it difficult to even get started. All journeys begin with the first step. Begun is half done. (Enough cliches?)

But you get the point. Look not to the summit exclusively, look also to the next footfall.

There are five reasons why you may feel worse. Now here are five ways to avoid feeling worse in the long term.

1. Drop the delusion that you are an alien in your own home. It is your home and you are welcome in it.

It seems that we are negative so much of the time. I will not argue that point because it does seem that way.

But try to believe me when I tell you that we are hard wired to be looking for and achieving resonance with the Universe. The Universe would “like” nothing more than for you to feel at home.

2. You need not worry about what level you find yourself now. Achieve as much happiness as you can now.

In other words, we are hard wired to reach full enlightenment, full resonance. But you are not under any pressure to accomplish that in this lifetime. Go as far as you can comfortably now.

Do not be anxious about climbing to any certain point. I believe you have lifetimes to get where you are going. You are supported every step of the way by a Universe that unconditionally accepts you.

3. Again, by a similar token, you must believe that you can make it eventually. Here I am speaking of enlightenment. It is in your future, make no mistake.

But you can have and keep a high and distinctive level of happiness right now. Make sincere and long term connection with the Universe through the meditative arts. In that connection you will find happiness now.

You reach toward the Universe and you will find the Universe already reaching toward you.

4. As far as you can avoid it, do not compare yourself to others. They have their own life to deal with. You can never tell how you are doing by how others are doing.

Yes, be in relationships with others. Relationships is what your external life is all about. Support others in their growth and you will be supporting yourself. Have compassion for all.

But you cannot tell by looking how old a soul stands in front of you in the coffee line. He or she may be far younger or far older, in terms of soul-growth, than you.

How can you compare yourself, therefore? It is a fool’s errand.

See only where you are today with where you were yesterday or last year. Grow your own garden.

5. You take your first step, no matter how humble. You avoid feeling worse about yourself by moving forward, even if it is just a tiny increment.

Inertia is not overcome by a huge movement. Inertia is overcome by the tiniest act of will wherein you find yourself ahead of where you where the moment before.

Just five minutes of thinking quietly about your breathing in and out, will make a significant difference in how you live in this moment. (It is the only moment you have – improve it.)

There you have five ideas to be careful of as you pursue happiness. And five ideas on how to avoid negative feelings.

The journey is worth it – believe me. Start today, right this minute.

This has been Dr. Bob 4 U, and I invite you to change your life for the better by claiming your Free Instant Access to a Force-Source-Resource including a monthly newsletter titled The Force-Source-Resource Newsletter. Just Click Here. Remember, one bit of information can give you a lifetime of satisfaction.

My Vlog: http://themeaningoflifewithdrbob.com/drbobslifephrases

One Person Can Change The World

Megan came into the office and almost threw herself into one of the visitors’ chairs. I could see that she was just able to hold back a cascade of tears.

No beating around the bush when I asked, “What’s wrong, Megan?”

She let a racking sob loose and blurted out, “I’m tried of everyone telling me I should do this or I should do that. I shouldn’t have said that. I should have said … whatever.”

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“Who is saying all these shoulds?” I asked.

“My mother-in-law, my husband, even my kids. I feel as if God himself were telling I should be better at … whatever.”

“Megan, God does not ever tell you you should do this or that. Yes, we have scriptures that we have interpreted or written as if God were telling us we should be better. But that is man made stuff.”

“You mean,” she started, “that God does not tell me I should be better? I find that hard to believe.”

“I know it is hard to believe because we have been pasted over with so much nonsense that was made up to keep us under control. But I am here to tell you that, in my view, and the ideas of many through the ages, that we are free of any should from God.”

“Then what are all the shoulds we have from other people, even kids?” Megan asked.

“Ever noticed that they are trying to control you in those situations. They say, You should do this or that. Why? Because they want you to do it their way. I am afraid you have conditioned them to believe they can get away with controlling you. How do you respond when they say “you should?”

After some thought Megan said, “I see. I usually do as they demand. As if I am shamed into doing it. Control is their game, then.”

“I would say so.”

I told Megan that real happiness is free and without conditions imposed by God or anyone else. It’s letting the bird in the hand go free and it will return if it is so minded.

By spiritual connection to the Cosmic Consciousness we find happiness. Connection made through the meditative arts. But that happiness does not tell us what to do or how we should act or think.

In happiness you are totally free to determine how you shall act and be. You decide upon all such things. While deciding what it means to be happy, you have found your meaning, which is to be happy.

All shoulds can then be eliminated. One person shoulding on another person is a form of control that one person tries to exert on another.

You need to be able to say, at least to yourself, and perhaps out loud to the other person, “Don’t should on me.”

Therein you declare yourself free from the undue influences of others.

Try it right now. First, say to yourself about yourself, “Don’t should on me.” Go ahead, say it.

Second, you might want to prepare yourself to say it to someone else when they actually use the word should against you. They might say, “You should do it this way.” You need to say back, “Don’t should on me.”

The other person will at least be startled. They may even get angry. That’s when you have to stand your ground and not back down.

You are in control of you. No one else need ever be.

Megan heard these words and appeared very thoughtful as she left the office. Her state of mind was much cleansed by the time we finished our talking together.

Ease your mind and life by determining for yourself that no one will ever gain should on you.

This has been Dr. Bob 4 U, and I invite you to change your life for the better by claiming your Free Instant Access to a Force-Source-Resource including a monthly newsletter titled The Force-Source-Resource Newsletter. Just Click Here. Remember, one bit of information can give you a lifetime of satisfaction.

My Vlog: http://themeaningoflifewithdrbob.com/drbobslifephrases

One Person Can Change The World