The Meaning of Life with Dr. Bob

Chance knocked on the door of my office. He had been away in military service serving in war zones. He was a Marine and looked every ounce of one in his dress blues.

I had not seen Chance in many months. I almost snapped a sincere salute as he walked through the office door. I did jump to my feet, round my desk, and shake his hand as firmly as I could. “Thank you for your service, Chance,” I said. “What can I do for you?” (Lame, I know, but the best I could muster in the moment.)

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“I want to know what to do with my life, Dr. Bob,” he said.

His statement took me aback. As I motioned for him to take a seat and I moved back around to my desk chair, I quickly pondered what was my response to be.

First, a question: “What do you mean, Chance? Are you leaving the Marine Corps?”

“I finish my hitch in another month. Now that I am faced with it, I don’t know what to make of my life. I have seen some heroic things and some horrific things. Both of which made me question my role in this life. What do you think I should do, Dr. Bob?”

I had known Chance since he was twelve years old. Now twenty-four, he was a young man who had had extraordinary experiences. I knew his questions were serious.

I steepled my fingers together and looked at him, straight into the eyes. “I think you have to see your world for what it is. Then with all you being, give yourself away to it.”

He looked me right in the eyes as well. He said, “I know what discipline is. I know what it means to give yourself away. I saw it many times on the battlefield. Some of those who did never rose again. Some came away maimed.”

I saw, then, the Bronze Star among his array of ribbons. I knew he had put his own life on the line, too. He knew what he was talking about.

“But I don’t know in which direction to go,” he said.

“What gives you the best feeling of well-being?” I asked.

He thought for a few seconds and said, “I really felt useful when I was helping to set up a school for the kids over there. To see their faces light up, day by day, as the building went up, was a joy in itself. Maybe I could be a teacher.”

“Well, whatever you choose, here are two pieces of advice. First, find out what your world is all about. You have experienced combat and death and also reconstruction and helping others. You have found happiness and meaning in helping. Your well-being was reinforced when you saw the light in those kids’ eyes.

“Second, give yourself to whatever it is you choose. I cannot give you a choice between two or more things, you have to decide that for yourself. But I do know that anyone who wishes to reinforce their meaning and happiness must give themselves to whatever they do. Give one hundred percent.”

“I remembered your lessons on finding the meaning of life, which is to be happy. I often thought about that, believed it or not, as the rounds whizzed by my head. I have made that connection with The All There Is. It was that link that often kept me going amidst the blood and pain all around me.”

I shuddered within myself. Chance had seen more than anyone ever needs to of war. That he was asking these sensible questions was a real credit to him.

“Discover what gives me a foundation upon which to build my life and then give myself to it. I can do that. Thanks, Dr. Bob.”

He rose from his chair, I rose from mine. I came around the desk and shook his hand and hugged him at the same time. I again thanked him for his service. And he was gone.

Chance continued in the fellowship I led at the time. He indeed went back to college and got his teaching degree. He is now off in a foreign land building schools and teaching kids.

Find what your world is all about. Then give yourself to it, one hundred percent.

This has been Dr. Bob 4 U, and I invite you to change your life for the better by claiming your Free Instant Access to a Force-Source-Resource including a monthly newsletter titled The Force-Source-Resource Newsletter. Just Click Here. Remember, one bit of information can give you a lifetime of satisfaction.

My Vlog: http://themeaningoflifewithdrbob.com/drbobslifephrases

One Person Can Change The World

Your choice making ability is inviolate. You can make a choice about how you feel about anything or anyone. No one can take that choice making ability away from you. As long as you are self-aware, you make choices.

So, you can choose to be happy.

One of the distinguishing marks of a human being, you, is the ability to make choices. We, humans, are the choice makers.

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Yes, it does appear that other animals, like household dogs and cats, do make choices. They can choose, it seems, to eat or not eat. They can choose, it seems, to do their business in inappropriate places within the house.

It even seems to some domestic cat owners that when their cat is angry with them, they choose to demonstrate that anger by defecating on good, clean carpet.

Most everything else, however, in a dog’s or cat’s life seems to be made of responses to stimuli. A dog barks, for example, when someone knocks at the door. Hard to break a dog of that primal instinctual behavior.

A household cat might well bump heads with you if it wants your attention or affection. Some cats bump heads, some don’t. What makes the difference? I don’t know, but I believe some are acting out a response pattern.

The cat bumped a head one day, got some affection in return and now has a learned response. Some would say a conditioned response.

But human beings, while having some instincts, can choose to go beyond those ancient patterns. You can choose. You have choice. Always.

How can I say always? Because you always have the choice as to how you will feel about someone or something.

Truly you don’t always get to choose between two or more options. Sometimes there is no choice but to take what is presented to you. That is a fact.

But you always have the option to decide how you are going to respond emotionally and or spiritually to what is presented to you.

To be sure, some events in life are horrific and disastrous. Your immediately response, of course, will be horror-filled and fear-inducing. These are natural responses. I would be afraid for you if you did react negatively at first in such circumstances.

As the shock wears off, however, you can choose to react within yourself as you see fit. I know you want to say to me that is it easy for me to say this whilst I sit at keyboard and type out these words. Nothing dreadful is happening to me.

You are correct. But I have been where others have been – faced with situations and people which are frightening, to say the least.

I know you change your mind. I know you can choose to respond as you wish to respond. You can turn a negative into a positive.

This is not to be Pollyannaish. I know real tragedies happen to real people. Perhaps they have even happened to you.

The point is that I have seen in my own life and in the lives of countless others, how they have turned their thinking around and sought the good and affirmative from the most devastating events and people.

You continuously and always have the possibility of choosing your way of thinking and therefore of mentally and spiritually responding to events in your life.

What do you choose? Now that you know you have the choice, what choice will you make?

I encourage you to constantly choose the positive. When you continually choose happiness, you will, of course, be the better for it.

How can you choose happiness in the middle of tragedy or loss? You make the choice. You seek and keep your connection with The All There Is. In that connection you see that you are accepted still, just as you are.

In that acceptance you find true, deep, everlasting happiness. So, no matter what is happening in your outer world, you can be happy. No, you don’t have to be jumping for joy in the midst of loss or catastrophe.

But you can have that inner peace that passes understanding which comes from happiness. Choose right now and constantly to be happy.

This has been Dr. Bob 4 U, and I invite you to change your life for the better by claiming your Free Instant Access to a Force-Source-Resource including a monthly newsletter titled The Force-Source-Resource Newsletter. Just Click Here. Remember, one bit of information can give you a lifetime of satisfaction.

My Vlog: http://themeaningoflifewithdrbob.com/drbobslifephrases

One Person Can Change The World

Marge came through the doorway of my office with her arms wrapped tightly around her as if she was clinging to someone.

She sat in the visitor’s chair never releasing her grip on herself. She seemed uptight, I thought, as though she can’t let go of something or someone. I didn’t realize how close I had guessed at the truth.

“How can I help, Marge?” I asked.

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She said, “I am just not happy. I can’t get past something to find happiness. I’ve tried meditation as you have instructed. I have given it patience and regularity. I seemed to be no farther ahead than when I first began. My mind is still muddled when I try to meditate. I am looking for answers.”

Well, that was a bit of baggage, wasn’t it?

She still never let go of her grasp of herself.

“Marge, did you realize that you are gripping yourself tightly with your arms?” I asked.

“What? Oh, I know. I don’t know why I do that.”

I took an arrogant guess by saying, “I think I know what you are doing. There is someone or something you can’t let go of. That clinging is keeping you from finding happiness.”

“I … I don’t know …,” Marge stammered.

I asked directly, “What are you holding on to?”

Marge looked at me with what might appear to be hate. She held that glare several seconds. Finally, her face began to soften by degrees. Obviously there was a real battle going on inside her.

“I can’t forgive my mother for dying. She was just sixty-five. In her last years she seemed not to care about herself anymore and ate and drank to what I believe was an early grave. She was never happy in all my memories of her.”

“You haven’t let her go, have you, Marge?”

She snapped that look of what might be hate at me again. Once again her face softened only by degrees. Her arms loosened from around her just a little for the time first since she hove into sight.

“She was such a comfort. But I can’t find any more comfort from her now that she is passed.”

“You can’t cling to a ghost, Marge. Give her up,” I said.

We sat in silence for a minute or so. During that time, as if in a slow motion movie, Marge released her grip upon herself. Her hands drifted as autumn leafs falling from trees, it seemed, into her lap. Peace came to reside in her face.

I broke the silence by saying, “Now follow the techniques you have been taught to discover happiness for yourself. I think you will have a better time of it now.”

She rose to depart and shook my hand and gave me a smile that expressed her gratitude, though she was obvious moved to speechlessness.

Here is a short course in finding and maintaining happiness. Develop a life of meditation or prayer. I believe there is only one way to contact the Source of All There Is and that is through a meditative connection with the Source.

Then maintain that linkage through regular use of the meditative arts. Notice, please, I used the plural, “arts.” There are many ways to meditate so find one that fits you best. You may even want to experiment to find one that is best for you.

In that connection with the Source, you will find that you are totally and unconditionally accepted. There is your happiness. For there is nothing greater or finer than being completely and fundamentally accepted.

When you have found that happiness that passes understanding, you will have found the meaning of your life, I believe. Your meaning is to be happy.

That happiness, then, is played out in experience in the world. Your life-purpose is to experience. You experience by being in relationship to all you encounter – be that person, animal or thing.

Marge had learned all these techniques and ideas through her time in the community I lead. She was just so tied up in mental ropes because she could not release her mother.

When you cling too tightly to anything or anyone, you will not be as happy as you will without those attachments. Detach yourself. That is, do not cling so tightly that you stifle any other relationship – like with the Source of All There Is.

Start today to detach yourself from your “clinging” and develop a solid and permanent relationship with the Source of All That Is through the meditative arts.

This has been Dr. Bob 4 U, and I invite you to change your life for the better by claiming your Free Instant Access to a Force-Source-Resource including a monthly newsletter titled The Force-Source-Resource Newsletter. Just Click Here. Remember, one bit of information can give you a lifetime of satisfaction.

My Vlog: http://themeaningoflifewithdrbob.com/drbobslifephrases

One Person Can Change The World