The Meaning of Life with Dr. Bob

Stan said, “I was in the neighborhood and I thought I’d stop by. Is this a good time?”

I’ll never know if Stan really just happened to be in the neighborhood. I never asked and I never will ask. But his visit to my office was something that needed to happen for both of us.

The rest of the text for this blog is immediately following this video pane.

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8aCOrhq8ec

Stan said as he seated himself in my visitor’s chair, “I have been trying to be happy as you have taught us, Dr. Bob. But I don’t always feel happy. I don’t always have a sense of joy. What am I doing wrong?”

This question drew me up short in my own thinking. I had not really given a lot of thought to the idea of how one is supposed to be after finding and maintaining happiness. I knew from my own life I was not always jumping for joy, though I held happiness within me at all times.

I said to Stan, “Happiness does not always make us feel happy. Happiness is more a state of well-being that we hold within us at all times. There are times when we deal with any number of circumstances that preclude our jumping for joy.”

You have seen people on TV who have won prizes of one kind or another and they literally “jump-for-joy.” They jump up and down and clap their hands. Big smiles on their faces. Maybe even tears of joy flowing from their eyes.

But what about other times when tears of a different sort stream from one’s eyes? Are we to be bubbling with ecstasy then? Suppose a dearly loved person has died, certainly it is in poor taste, at least, to be so overcome with bliss that we are all smiles and giggles. Suppose hundreds or thousands of people have lost their lives or their possessions in a severe disaster? Does being happy within rule out affinity or empathy?

That would be silly and rude. What then? The core still holds. But the external appearance is subdued. The internal central repository of your life is still balanced to be happy. But one can be, and might need to be, sad on the outside.

Here’s the deal. One can respond appropriately to outward circumstances while maintaining a happy inward source. The center of your life holds. Your trust and belief in The Soul Of The Universe remains. I needed to inwardly articulate that to myself. I had never done it before Stan came into my office. I explained to Stan what it meant to keep on trusting and believing his connection to The Soul Of The Universe.

Trust means you adhere to the fact that no matter the outward circumstances of your life, your connection to the Divine remains intact. It is a matter of believing it so. Belief is a matter of deliberate choice. “Keep on believing.”

So – you are sad when you feel sad or when sorrow is a true reflection of outward contexts. You stop and think seriously when serious thought is required. You do what needs doing. You be what needs being. You bubble with joy and bliss when that fits the situation you find yourself in.

Stan said, “That sure takes a load off my mind. I thought I had missed something. So as I remain in that ‘happy place’ within myself, I respond as is appropriate for the environment in which I find myself.”

“I’d say you’ve got it, Stan,” I said.

Remain trusting of the connection to The Divine you have developed from your time spent in meditation. Hard core certitude. Then you will able to deal with any situation appropriately and keep happiness as well.

As a matter of fact, in your every day life, you don’t have to be all smiles and giggles of joy. You can be who you are in relation to the contingencies of your life. Maybe you do not have an effervescent personality. You still can be happy inside always – no matter the life-condition facing you in any given moment.

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This is unexpected. The only excess that most people find within themselves is something of a negative. Some eat too much (probably like myself). Some smoke too much, drink too much, procrastinate too much. Those and others are the usual excesses that people find within themselves.

But some people are “surprised by joy.” When you look within and focus on who you really are, you will find a river of joy running through you. You do this by focusing through prayer or meditation – a complete awareness of who you are really. And this great river of joy that runs through you? Why, it is none other than the Love of The Source of All That Is. This Love can be described in no other way than metaphors. The River metaphor is the one I choose for today’s blog.

A great river like the Amazon feeds the surrounding land with life giving water all year through. It never ceases to flow; never even threatens to slow down, in the case of The Source of All There Is. Its soothing flow is music to the ears of the ones who realize that this Love flows through them constantly. Off in this smaller channel are modest eddies where the water seems to flow more quietly and in less volume. These are places where one may catch the breath and be calm in order to contemplate the great Love that is available. The Grand Love that is in excess.

You may then return to the exceeding torrent that is the main channel and simply feel the power that that heavy, wild flow engenders within you. You know such strength and determination in that torrent. As if, when you make yourself part of it, it sweeps away all disasters, all stresses, all negatives, all sadness. When you figuratively give yourself to the Niagra of Spirit-Water, you feel yourself all powerful when it comes to life’s trials and tribulations.

That is the excess that you can feel as you understand further the meaning of life. Joy abounds. Confidence fills “your lungs.” You have come to understand the joy of the meaning of life.

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Living from a full heart, here is another buried treasure of knowing the meaning of life and living “to be happy.” When you find your Self full inside, you live as does a altruist. You give because you have so much and you want to share that with those who don’t have so much. (In my case, I feel I have so much inside that I want to share with those who may not have as much. Those who have not yet found how “to be happy.” The meaning of life.)

A philanthropist is enabled to give because at the heart of the giving is an excess, an overflow. Please notice here, and please be careful here, that you do not necessarily make philanthropy equal to great riches. A person of any means may recognize within her or his life an excess. That over-abundance may be of time. Perhaps a person has an excess of time and can give those hours away in voluntary service. Perhaps a person recognizes that he has $10 more than he needs and can give that away during the holiday season to the Salvation Army. Joy in gardening within a person may overflow from one’s own garden. So that the little garden path in front of the town hall is kept tidy and bright with blooming flowers in all of the growing season.  Someone may genuinely love working with animals and so volunteers at the local humane society. Another may genuinely love children and so volunteers at a day care center. Please do not confuse philanthropy only with those who have a great deal of money.

First there is an overflow. Then there are actions in the corporal world because of that overflow. But a strange thing then happens. Giving from an abundant heart helps one feel good, “to be happy.” Many people mistakenly think the actions make them feel good. Actually it is giving from the abundant heart that causes that good feeling.

I have seen 40 years of life-coaching people. When I gave the advice to give out the abundance of their hearts, I observed one of two reactions: 1.) They just didn’t see how that would help them and did nothing of the kind. Or, 2.) They followed the advice, and did something for someone else, and reported the joy they felt. These persons often accounted, “I feel I get more out of this than I give.” Probably true.

So, when you want to know the meaning of life and feel the joy, give from the abundance of your heart.

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