The Meaning of Life with Dr. Bob

Chance knocked on the door of my office. He had been away in military service serving in war zones. He was a Marine and looked every ounce of one in his dress blues.

I had not seen Chance in many months. I almost snapped a sincere salute as he walked through the office door. I did jump to my feet, round my desk, and shake his hand as firmly as I could. “Thank you for your service, Chance,” I said. “What can I do for you?” (Lame, I know, but the best I could muster in the moment.)

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“I want to know what to do with my life, Dr. Bob,” he said.

His statement took me aback. As I motioned for him to take a seat and I moved back around to my desk chair, I quickly pondered what was my response to be.

First, a question: “What do you mean, Chance? Are you leaving the Marine Corps?”

“I finish my hitch in another month. Now that I am faced with it, I don’t know what to make of my life. I have seen some heroic things and some horrific things. Both of which made me question my role in this life. What do you think I should do, Dr. Bob?”

I had known Chance since he was twelve years old. Now twenty-four, he was a young man who had had extraordinary experiences. I knew his questions were serious.

I steepled my fingers together and looked at him, straight into the eyes. “I think you have to see your world for what it is. Then with all you being, give yourself away to it.”

He looked me right in the eyes as well. He said, “I know what discipline is. I know what it means to give yourself away. I saw it many times on the battlefield. Some of those who did never rose again. Some came away maimed.”

I saw, then, the Bronze Star among his array of ribbons. I knew he had put his own life on the line, too. He knew what he was talking about.

“But I don’t know in which direction to go,” he said.

“What gives you the best feeling of well-being?” I asked.

He thought for a few seconds and said, “I really felt useful when I was helping to set up a school for the kids over there. To see their faces light up, day by day, as the building went up, was a joy in itself. Maybe I could be a teacher.”

“Well, whatever you choose, here are two pieces of advice. First, find out what your world is all about. You have experienced combat and death and also reconstruction and helping others. You have found happiness and meaning in helping. Your well-being was reinforced when you saw the light in those kids’ eyes.

“Second, give yourself to whatever it is you choose. I cannot give you a choice between two or more things, you have to decide that for yourself. But I do know that anyone who wishes to reinforce their meaning and happiness must give themselves to whatever they do. Give one hundred percent.”

“I remembered your lessons on finding the meaning of life, which is to be happy. I often thought about that, believed it or not, as the rounds whizzed by my head. I have made that connection with The All There Is. It was that link that often kept me going amidst the blood and pain all around me.”

I shuddered within myself. Chance had seen more than anyone ever needs to of war. That he was asking these sensible questions was a real credit to him.

“Discover what gives me a foundation upon which to build my life and then give myself to it. I can do that. Thanks, Dr. Bob.”

He rose from his chair, I rose from mine. I came around the desk and shook his hand and hugged him at the same time. I again thanked him for his service. And he was gone.

Chance continued in the fellowship I led at the time. He indeed went back to college and got his teaching degree. He is now off in a foreign land building schools and teaching kids.

Find what your world is all about. Then give yourself to it, one hundred percent.

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One Person Can Change The World

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Living from a full heart, here is another buried treasure of knowing the meaning of life and living “to be happy.” When you find your Self full inside, you live as does a altruist. You give because you have so much and you want to share that with those who don’t have so much. (In my case, I feel I have so much inside that I want to share with those who may not have as much. Those who have not yet found how “to be happy.” The meaning of life.)

A philanthropist is enabled to give because at the heart of the giving is an excess, an overflow. Please notice here, and please be careful here, that you do not necessarily make philanthropy equal to great riches. A person of any means may recognize within her or his life an excess. That over-abundance may be of time. Perhaps a person has an excess of time and can give those hours away in voluntary service. Perhaps a person recognizes that he has $10 more than he needs and can give that away during the holiday season to the Salvation Army. Joy in gardening within a person may overflow from one’s own garden. So that the little garden path in front of the town hall is kept tidy and bright with blooming flowers in all of the growing season.  Someone may genuinely love working with animals and so volunteers at the local humane society. Another may genuinely love children and so volunteers at a day care center. Please do not confuse philanthropy only with those who have a great deal of money.

First there is an overflow. Then there are actions in the corporal world because of that overflow. But a strange thing then happens. Giving from an abundant heart helps one feel good, “to be happy.” Many people mistakenly think the actions make them feel good. Actually it is giving from the abundant heart that causes that good feeling.

I have seen 40 years of life-coaching people. When I gave the advice to give out the abundance of their hearts, I observed one of two reactions: 1.) They just didn’t see how that would help them and did nothing of the kind. Or, 2.) They followed the advice, and did something for someone else, and reported the joy they felt. These persons often accounted, “I feel I get more out of this than I give.” Probably true.

So, when you want to know the meaning of life and feel the joy, give from the abundance of your heart.

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