The Meaning of Life with Dr. Bob

At the beginning, you must understand that you can change your mind. You can literally rewire your mind so that what you want is readily apparent to you.

When you realize that you can change your mind, then you can change your life.

Pete had made an appointment to meet with me a week before. He arrived in his usual disheveled manner. Pete was a very organized guy except when it came to his appearance.

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To look at him it would seem that he never had a clue. But when you got to know him, you discovered he was a sharp as a tack.

We exchanged the usual pleasantries. Then I asked, “What’s up, Pete?”

“Um, I want to feel happy, Dr. Bob. But I can’t,” he said.

As gently as I could I said, “What do you mean, you can’t?”

“The more I try, the worse it seems to get.”

If you looked at Pete’s tousled appearance you might assume that he was stating the obvious. He looked as if he could not organize a table setting, let alone organize his mind. Don’t get me wrong here. Pete was an amazing person other than the state of his clothing. The importance of dressing neatly just wasn’t important to him.

“But Pete, you are so very organized in almost everything else you do. You are a successful business man, here in the local economy. From what everyone can see, your family is healthy and happy.”

Pete said, “All that is true, Dr. Bob. But appearances can be deceiving. Yes, my business goes very well. Added two more employees just last week. Family life is well. Oldest girl graduates from highschool this coming June. But I cannot get my mind to accept these and also to let me be happy.”

There it was – the clue. Pete had just said he could not get his mind to accept and let him be happy. Something was blocking his way to happiness.

“What’s it like when you try to meditate and make connection with The All There Is?” I asked.

“I have a good connection with the Cosmic Consciousness, I think. But almost immediately after a meditation session, I begin to hear ideas in my mind. The ideas, before you ask,” he said with a smile, “say to me that I don’t deserve happiness.”

This kind of problem is much more common than you might think. Many people have great difficulty in allowing themselves to be happy.

“All right, let’s find out where you acquired this blockage to happiness. Where do you think these ideas against happiness come from?” I asked.

“I have thought about that,” said Pete. “I can remember my grandmother, who lived with us all the time I was growing up, until my junior year in high school, when she went to a nursing home, saying over and over again, no one deserves happiness. She would say you have to earn happiness.”

“And you feel that you haven’t done enough to have earned happiness?” I asked Pete.

“No. I can never seem to convince myself that I have earned it yet.”

“Well, there you have it. Your brain is literally wired with that idea your grandmother gave you. And no one in the family ever argued with her about it. Did they?”

“No, they didn’t. What are you getting at, Dr. Bob?”

“Just this. Happiness is not earned. It is a given. When you make deep and lasting connection with The Source of All There Is, you find total acceptance. In that total acceptance is meaning and happiness.

“But your grandmother taught you that you have to earn happiness. What you have, in effect, is a brain-culture that you were always fighting against. Never winning. The culture said that you have to earn happiness. You believed it. You believe it still.”

“How do I get out of that mind-culture?” Pete asked.

“First, you become aware of it. You just have. Then, second, you work over time to change the culture of your mind. You rewire, through repetition, your mind.

“How long will it take? I don’t know. I know it is different for each person. I know also that it can be done. You believe it can be done and it will be. Your mind will change.”

“How do I rewire my mind?”

“Affirmation after affirmation. Like – Happiness is a given by The Source of All There Is. Or, I deserve happiness because The Source of All There Is has given it to me. Or something else that you devise.”

“That simple, Dr. Bob?”

“Yes, that simple. But the effort may take a while. You have to commit to it.”

Pete said, “I want to be happy. I want my mind-culture to change. I’ll work at it.”

We made an appointment for six months later, with the idea that if he needed it, Pete could, of course, come visit with me at any appointed time.

Six months later Pete was visibly changed. No, he was still his disheveled self. But his face had changed. He declared he had a different mind-culture now.

If you are not as happy as you wish to be, look inside to see if there is some culture of belief or attitude that keeps you from being as happy as you wish to be. If so, change it. You can do it. Start now.

This has been Dr. Bob 4 U, and I invite you to change your life for the better by claiming your Free Instant Access to a Force-Source-Resource including a monthly newsletter titled The Force-Source-Resource Newsletter. Just Click Here. Remember, one bit of information can give you a lifetime of satisfaction.

My Vlog: http://themeaningoflifewithdrbob.com/drbobslifephrases

One Person Can Change The World

I write and speak a lot about finding the meaning of your life. But I would also like to pass along some ways that are not necessarily spiritual in nature, having to do with your every day happiness and your day-by-day search for meaning.

Here are five tips that may help you in your practical life to be happy with yourself. When you are happy with yourself the world seems so much brighter and more generous.

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1. Don’t procrastinate. One of the strongest killers of well-being is to put off doing what needs done. Sometimes these needs-doing things pile up so high that the climb looks impossible.

Do what needs done as quickly as possible. Try not to let undone things get ahead of you. You will feel happier.

If you are a list maker, then by all means make lists where you can check off accomplished tasks or events.

If you are not a list maker, you may wish to develop a chart wherein you keep track of your accomplishments. Keeping account in some such manner will help you to keep from dragging your feet.

2. Finish what you start. This follows right behind procrastination as a happiness killer. Leaving projects uncompleted will weigh upon your spirit.

In my view, it is a fact that you ought not start anything you do not intend to finish. Sounds simple enough. But you might be surprised at the number of people who have good intentions, but that’s all they have. They have no power to finish.

Give your life a real boost by finishing what you start. Sometimes this means avoiding trying to multi-task. I know. I know. Multi-tasking is the information age’s way of dealing effectively with the present world.

But sometimes doing multiple things at the same time only gets one tangled in one’s own process. Beware. Decide what is most important and get that done as soon as possible.

3. Invest in your relationships. The time and effort it takes to help any relationship thrive is time and effort very well spent.

It’s true that some folks believe they ought not to have to invest in relationships. So, it feels like you end up doing all the relationship work yourself. That may well be.

You have to decide if you want to keep the relationship. If you do, then you need do all you can to keep it thriving, even if the other person is not willing to put forth the effort.

It took me some years to realize that some in my family were just not going to keep up their ends of our relationships. They would not correspond in return to my missives, for example. If I wanted to keep in touch, I had to be the constant initiator.

If you want to keep in contact, you may need to be the instigator.

4. Maintain your linkage to the Divine. This is a relationship too. And although the Divine, in my view, is always making effort to remain in relationship to you, it may not often feel like it.

Remember the Tao Te Ching says, “… the greatest love seems indifferent … ” because it is so quiet.

So, it is for you to put time into that relationship through the meditative arts. This investment on your part will pay big dividends.

In your connection to the Divine there flows the meaning of your life, which, I believe, is to be happy.

5. Share yourself. There is no greater earthly happiness that giving of your time and energy (and money, if you have it) to inspire or help other people. This so often gets neglected.

Perhaps it gets neglected because folks don’t realize what a boon it can be to their own lives. Or perhaps it gets neglected because people think it is somehow perverse to share themselves with others to build their own happiness foundation.

There is no perversity here, whatsoever. To share yourself with others helps your world. Making the world a better place will return to you significant benefactions.

Therefore, I think it perfectly acceptable to give and not expect any return, but give so that you feel good about yourself.

There you have five tips to help you feel happy with yourself. Use them beginning right now. Feel the difference.

This has been Dr. Bob 4 U, and I invite you to change your life for the better by claiming your Free Instant Access to a Force-Source-Resource including a monthly newsletter titled The Force-Source-Resource Newsletter. Just Click Here. Remember, one bit of information can give you a lifetime of satisfaction.

My Vlog: http://themeaningoflifewithdrbob.com/drbobslifephrases

One Person Can Change The World

Chance knocked on the door of my office. He had been away in military service serving in war zones. He was a Marine and looked every ounce of one in his dress blues.

I had not seen Chance in many months. I almost snapped a sincere salute as he walked through the office door. I did jump to my feet, round my desk, and shake his hand as firmly as I could. “Thank you for your service, Chance,” I said. “What can I do for you?” (Lame, I know, but the best I could muster in the moment.)

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“I want to know what to do with my life, Dr. Bob,” he said.

His statement took me aback. As I motioned for him to take a seat and I moved back around to my desk chair, I quickly pondered what was my response to be.

First, a question: “What do you mean, Chance? Are you leaving the Marine Corps?”

“I finish my hitch in another month. Now that I am faced with it, I don’t know what to make of my life. I have seen some heroic things and some horrific things. Both of which made me question my role in this life. What do you think I should do, Dr. Bob?”

I had known Chance since he was twelve years old. Now twenty-four, he was a young man who had had extraordinary experiences. I knew his questions were serious.

I steepled my fingers together and looked at him, straight into the eyes. “I think you have to see your world for what it is. Then with all you being, give yourself away to it.”

He looked me right in the eyes as well. He said, “I know what discipline is. I know what it means to give yourself away. I saw it many times on the battlefield. Some of those who did never rose again. Some came away maimed.”

I saw, then, the Bronze Star among his array of ribbons. I knew he had put his own life on the line, too. He knew what he was talking about.

“But I don’t know in which direction to go,” he said.

“What gives you the best feeling of well-being?” I asked.

He thought for a few seconds and said, “I really felt useful when I was helping to set up a school for the kids over there. To see their faces light up, day by day, as the building went up, was a joy in itself. Maybe I could be a teacher.”

“Well, whatever you choose, here are two pieces of advice. First, find out what your world is all about. You have experienced combat and death and also reconstruction and helping others. You have found happiness and meaning in helping. Your well-being was reinforced when you saw the light in those kids’ eyes.

“Second, give yourself to whatever it is you choose. I cannot give you a choice between two or more things, you have to decide that for yourself. But I do know that anyone who wishes to reinforce their meaning and happiness must give themselves to whatever they do. Give one hundred percent.”

“I remembered your lessons on finding the meaning of life, which is to be happy. I often thought about that, believed it or not, as the rounds whizzed by my head. I have made that connection with The All There Is. It was that link that often kept me going amidst the blood and pain all around me.”

I shuddered within myself. Chance had seen more than anyone ever needs to of war. That he was asking these sensible questions was a real credit to him.

“Discover what gives me a foundation upon which to build my life and then give myself to it. I can do that. Thanks, Dr. Bob.”

He rose from his chair, I rose from mine. I came around the desk and shook his hand and hugged him at the same time. I again thanked him for his service. And he was gone.

Chance continued in the fellowship I led at the time. He indeed went back to college and got his teaching degree. He is now off in a foreign land building schools and teaching kids.

Find what your world is all about. Then give yourself to it, one hundred percent.

This has been Dr. Bob 4 U, and I invite you to change your life for the better by claiming your Free Instant Access to a Force-Source-Resource including a monthly newsletter titled The Force-Source-Resource Newsletter. Just Click Here. Remember, one bit of information can give you a lifetime of satisfaction.

My Vlog: http://themeaningoflifewithdrbob.com/drbobslifephrases

One Person Can Change The World