You Deserve Happiness Which Flows Out of the Meaning of Life
People are looking for happiness and meaning. Many do not believe they deserve either.
Jerry knocked at the door of my office, though it was already open. Hesitant was he. I got him seated and ask how I might be of help.
Jerry said, “Dr. Bob, you keep talking to us about how happiness and meaning are already ours. I just never manage to believe it.”
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“I am here to help, Jerry,” I said. “Let’s look at your life as an entirety. Tell me all you care to about your life and thinking about your life.”
Jerry looked at me with something of blank stare. Obviously he had never had this asked of him. I could tell he really did not know where to start. But he did begin.
He told me of his childhood. How his father had remarried after a divorce. The step-mother was demanding and did not know how to give any affection or love. She did not trust Jerry though, in his mind at least, he had never given any reason for the mistrust. His father, while residing in the home, had practically nothing to do with him.
Jerry grew up, he said, not feeling worthy of anything. He did not say it directly, but it was obvious he had little self-esteem. What it boiled down to was that Jerry felt he did not deserve anything good in his life. It was painfully apparently, even early in his story, that the reason Jerry could not grasp happiness was because he felt he did not deserve it. Therefore, meaning was left out of his life as well.
Jerry went on for 45 minutes or so, relating his life story. Though I had a good grasp of what was happening with Jerry, I encouraged him to continue his narrative until he ran down. I needed to show him that he was truly worthy of a sympathetic ear.
“Jerry,” I said, “You do not feel worthy of happiness, do you?”
The question brought him up short. He grew quite still and blinked a number times before he answered.
“You have hit it right on the head, Dr. Bob. I can’t remember a time, if there ever was one, when I felt worthy of anything good.”
He, himself, had just then defined his problem. I said, “We need to work on self-esteem issues and feelings of deservedness. How do you see yourself in relation to The Consciousness of The Universe?”
Jerry answered me in very general terms suggesting that The Consciousness was the higher power in his life. What he could not define well was his relationship with The Consciousness. I told him he could begin to feel happy in the next five minutes. He kind of chuckled at that but put up no resistance.
I asked him if he bought into the cliched idea that we, each, have a role in the life of The Divine. Jerry said that he did. I showed him, then, that as he felt connected to The Divine, he must be of value to The Divine. Had he taken that worth seriously? Jerry indicated that he had never thought of it in those terms. I showed him how he must begin to take that merit earnestly.
He needed to make that connection with The Divine a daily part of his life. We went through a guided meditation together where he imagined himself in genuine, real contact with The Consciousness.
When he came back into the room from the meditation, I ask him something. I said, “Jerry, do you genuinely feel happier now than five minutes ago?”
“Yes, Dr Bob,” he said. “It’s like a light bulb suddenly gave off light in my mind. Knowing that I am of value to The Soul of The Universe, and can make a connection with It, I do feel happier than ever I can remember.”
I told him, as he rose to exit my office, that he would need to work on his valuing himself through the worth The Soul had placed upon him. He would do this over the course, now, of his lifetime. I told him if he ever needed my help again, to contact me.
You too, dear reader, can find this same worth within yourself. Carry that exercise with you your entire life. In the first five minutes of effort you can begin to feel happier and know better the meaning of life which will sustain you through the rest of your life.
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