Seth Godin nailed it [emphasis me]:
“The real problem when working with a consultant, a therapist, or a coach isn’t that we don’t know what to do. The real problem is that we don’t want to change our mind. It’s a skill, an attribute of those who are successful and happy. If you need a pro to help you, that’s great, but be clear with yourself that the goal isn’t to find a better path; it’s to find the bravery to change your mind.”
So many people want a better life for themselves that the self-help industry is big business. The proliferation of books, CDs, DVDs, courses, retreats, techniques, coaches and consultants seems to grow exponentially. I confess I am one who has added his thoughts to the struggle as well.
The rest of the words for this post are right after this video pane (pain?):
Each of these coaches and DVDs promise directly or indirectly that life will be better for you if you follow their techniques and practices. Need a cure for your lack of self-confidence? Here’s the answer. Need relief from failed relationships? Here are proficiencies to help. Need to lose weight? I’ve got the solution.
If those don’t work, try another practice and another. So many folks have tried diet after diet. When the first regimen didn’t work or didn’t work for long, they tried another. There are always those who are willing to sell you the next-try. But it’s the same with self-confidence, for another example. You did not gain enough confidence or the confidence you did develop didn’t hold long enough, so you read another book to see if that way of developing confidence would work.
But you see, it takes a change of mind to get any other change within your life to occur. You remember the definition of insanity: Doing the same things over and over again expecting different results. Without a change of mind, nothing really changes in your life.
Two things: First, mind-change is possible. Those who study such things declare that the brain can actually rewire itself to make a change in itself and, therefore, in you. It has been shown that affirmations really do work over time. You can change your life by changing your mind by using affirmations on a regular and consistent basis.
So, mind-change is possible. But here is the second thing: It takes courage to change your mind. Your mind and therefore your life got to be the way they are over sneaky-time. I say sneaky-time because it first started when you were a child and your mind was being filled with all kinds of stuff, some positive and some negative.
At that young age you had no defenses against the negative stuff. You just absorbed it mentally and spiritually. You didn’t “need” courage because you didn’t know anything was being done to you in a destructive way. But all those negatives just piled up in your mental system until they were the overwhelming majority.
To further complicate matters, events like peer pressure in elementary and secondary school influenced your mind as well. But again, no one told you about the destructive mental conditioning you were picking up. You did not know it was happening, but it was.
Now, if you want to change, you have to face all the garbage that may reside in your mind. It is a daunting task, not for the faint of heart. Why? For just one reason – it looks like a mountain you not only have to climb by also dismantle stone by stone, basketful of dirt by basketful of detritus. Most quail before such a task.
Further, you have got to come to understand yourself. Most do not ever find the courage to look at themselves in their mental nakedness. You have to find, perceive and accept all your flaws and failings. That takes courage.
But to truly change and be happy, for example, you must summon up the courage and you must change your mind. Then you will truly and lastingly change your life for the better. Get to it.
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