The Meaning of Life with Dr. Bob

Video and Text: The Meaning of Life: To Be Happy and God I Just Want Happiness in My Life

Sanchez came through the office door. He was a migrant laborer who had been stopping and working every summer in the area for more years than I can remember. He came regularly to a coaching association I ran. We were acquainted but little more. As you can imagine his skin was deeply tanned and weathered from years of outdoors labor. He was cheerful and always pleasant. I was told he was a hard and dedicated worker, sending money home all the time.

“What’s up, amigo?” I said. Sanchez accepted my very poor Spanish with an indulgent half smile.

“Oh, God, I just want happiness in my life.” He came straight to his point. “I know happiness is there. But I can’t find it.” His English, on the other hand, was excellent. “Doc, it ought to be easy. I just want happiness in my life.”

We talked to see if there were any unusual impediments to Sanchez having happiness in his life. There were none that we could, together, discover. So, I got right done to business.

“Do you pray?” I asked him. Yes, I know this is a very personal question for a man. But there is no sense in beating around the bush if someone comes, male or female, for an answer. They don’t want a long series of sessions for psychoanalysis. (Nothing wrong with psychoanalysis.) They want to walk out of the office with a way to change their lives.

He told me he did pray, almost every day. I told him that he then had the beginnings of finding happiness in his life. He simply needed to turn the prayer time into rumination-time. (The term rumination-time caught his attention, as it was meant to.) He needed to start this time by saying just what he said to me, “God, I just want happiness in my life.” Then, as if praying, let his mind think about what happiness would mean in his life. (If you think this is a form a meditation, you are correct. But Sanchez didn’t need to be bothered with that idea.)

We tried it, silently, in the office. I had him ruminate for about 5 minutes. I asked him to gently come back into the room. “What happened?”

He said, “I found that I already had lots of happiness in my wife and kids. That my work was honorable. Just before you called me back, I realized I already had some happiness in my life. I just had not seen it before.”

I told him to do this kind of ruminating at least five times a week for at least five minutes each time. I reminded him that God was the one he was contacting. It was in God and through God that he would find his happiness.

Too simply? You tell me. It worked for Sanchez. I believe it will work for you.

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