The Meaning of Life with Dr. Bob

Happenings and things just are. We make the judgments about them. When you make those judgments, you make yourself happy or otherwise.

“They are just so radical,” said Olivia. She was slim and trim with a heathy tan and a pink scarf around her neck. “My daughter and her friends with their Goth look and piercings.”

“How old is Cyndi now?” I asked.

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“She is twenty-two and still dresses that way. I just can’t stand it. I’m at the point of saying she can’t come around anymore to negatively influence her younger sister and brother.”

Olivia had developed a red hue in her cheeks as she spoke with vehemence. It was obvious she was unhappy. I knew it was her judgments that were making her so.

“Cyndi is old enough to make up her own mind,” I said. “You are adding value judgments that affect you, but not her. It is you who are making you miserable.”

“What?” Olivia exploded. “What do you mean it is me who is making me miserable?”

“Suppose you did not know about the look and the piercings. Imagine that for a moment. Truly let go of your vision of your daughter dressed in her garb. What do you see?”

Composure was a few seconds coming. Olivia actually closed her eyes without prompting from me.

“I see her as she was when she was twelve, dressed in her Sunday best. She is so innocent and lovely.”

Then Olivia’s face darkened. Gone was the red blush replaced by storm clouds. “Oh, I see,” she said. “When I attach my feelings to her present way of dressing, then I get angry. I see what she was and who she has become – in my mind. Then I am unhappy”

“You need to give up your judgments,” I said. “When you make judgments about anything or anyone you are leading yourself down the path of unhappiness.”

I told Olivia, now that she was ready, that things, or people for that matter, are neither good nor bad – but we make them so. With our judgments we add good or bad to things.

We parted then. Olivia seemed in better spirits.

When you bring an end to judgment, you bring an end to negativity (positivity as well). When you accept people and things just as they are, you relieve yourself of the need for carrying opinion.

When you stop dumping assessment on everything, you are making the environment for happiness much more solid. You are the one who gives value to anything and anyone.

Another facet to this jewel of non-judgment is gratitude. Replace appraisal with grace. That is a true and lasting path to contentment.

Try this. Take any idea, person, happening, opinion. Detach yourself from it. First, and immediately, that will ease any tension you have around it. The happening or person is not you.

Second, you will see, also immediately, that it is just as it is. You add value to make it good or bad in your eyes.

Third, you will discover that you have a far greater feeling of contentment when you do not multiply it with judgment.

So, bring an end to judgment. Let be. Begin now. You will feel the better for it, beginning – now.

This has been Dr. Bob 4 U, and I invite you to change your life for the better by claiming your Free Instant Access to a Force-Source-Resource including a monthly newsletter titled The Force-Source-Resource Newsletter. Just Click Here. Remember, one bit of information can give you a lifetime of satisfaction.

My Vlog: http://themeaningoflifewithdrbob.com/drbobslifephrases

You need to relax and be open to what might happen in this moment. This will bring you greater happiness.

Mark stopped by the office one afternoon. He is a tall, thin African American who is often very intense. Sometimes I think it’s my imagination, but he seems to visible vibrate with fervor.

“What’s up, Mark?” I asked.

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“I just cannot seem to relax,” Mark said. “I am always worried about what I did or didn’t do yesterday. Tomorrow is often frightening to me. I need some quick relief.”

I suppressed the idea of making an attempt at a joke here. Mark was serious. He seemed at that moment to be shaking with tension.

“Here’s some quick relief, Mark. Live in the moment.”

He said, “I’ve heard that many times. I just don’t get it. What does it mean?”

I asked him to close his eyes. I suggested he imagine that he was standing on the shore of beautiful lake, high in pristine mountains. As he stood on that shore, I asked him to imagine that he was throwing all his cares and worries into that lake.

The lake, of course, totally accepted all his burdens and concerns with no more than a ripple. I asked Mark to watch as those perplexities sank out of sight.

Then I asked him in his imagination to sit down beside that lake, keeping the magnificent view in sight. I encouraged him to relax within himself and drink in the beauty around him.

I proposed that he take up residence in that peaceful moment. That he make it his mission to live in that peaceful moment every minute of his life.

After a short time I invited Mark back into the present room. He seemed more calm to me, less harried. “How does that feel, Mark?” I asked.

“What relief. Great. Now, how do I keep it going?”

“Whenever you run into thinking that has you tied up in tight knots, relive that scene and exercise by the lakeshore. You can do it anywhere and anywhen.”

Mark left the office then. He wanted something quick to ease his life. I believe he found it.

You need to live in the present moment. Live fully in this moment. You can, at any time, rid yourself of tension and care. This does not mean that you do not care about yourself and the world around you.

It means only that you gain a different perspective on that world. When you see yourself at the lakeside, you are relaxed and trusting. That is what you need: relaxation and confidence.

You can relax because you have given your concerns over to something to hold for you (in your imagination it is the lake). You have detached yourself from your cares. This is a great part of feeling happy.

What is that “something” which holds your burdens? You can name it anything you wish. I call it the Cosmic Consciousness or the Universe. The Universe accepts everything, absolutely everything.

As you detach yourself from your responsibilities, you may feel the need to place them somewhere for safekeeping. The Universe can act and is very willing to act as your repository.

In that repository you can trust all will be safe. I did not say all will solved. But it will rest safe. You can then pick up your responsibilities whenever you feel ready again.

How do you make contact with this repository? You can use imagery as simple as the lakeside and the accepting waters. Or you can develop meditation to any degree you wish. The form does not really matter. It is the intent that is key.

So, begin today understanding how you and your worries are cared for. Then trust and relax your way to greater happiness.

This has been Dr. Bob 4 U, and I invite you to change your life for the better by claiming your Free Instant Access to a Force-Source-Resource including a monthly newsletter titled The Force-Source-Resource Newsletter. Just Click Here. Remember, one bit of information can give you a lifetime of satisfaction.

My Vlog: http://themeaningoflifewithdrbob.com/drbobslifephrases

Your mind is active. With that active mind you either build a prison for yourself or set yourself free.

He thought to himself, “I’ll never get this built in time.” Ben was working on a fence to keep his goats corralled. They wandered off more than was tolerable.

He had set himself a deadline of the first of the month. He was just too rushed, he continued to think to himself. All the chores and watching against grizzlies and panthers. He would never get the enclosure done by the time he wanted. It always was that way with him.

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So, he did not finish in time and an important goat wandered too far and was taken by a panther, or so it looked. Ben knew the enclosure he was building would not guarantee that no bear or lion would get his goats. But he could better keep an eye on them if they were confined more often.

It occurred to Ben, then, that he was always setting deadlines for himself. But he always found other things to keep him from getting done what he wanted by the time he wanted.

He sat on a stump and pondered. Yes, this was unusual for him. He was not much of thinker. Wait a minute. He thought all the time, he realized. He looked up at his little homestead in the Alaskan “country side.”

He had a wife, Sally, and three small children: Ted, Ed, and Fred. Fred was really Fredericka but everyone called her Fred to keep the rhyme going. His family was Ben’s joy.

He had nothing to be extraordinarily concerned about in his life. But why was he never getting anything done as he wanted? He got it done but much later than he worked toward. He just had so much else to do.

Wait a minute, he thought. I am the one who puts thoughts in my own way. The chores are always there. I am the one who counts them too many. I throw road blocks up in my own path.

I will change my thoughts, he thought. I will make the time by saying I will finish when I want.

Now, this took some doing. Ben found that he could not simply say, “I’ll change my thoughts.” He discovered he had to work at it. He had to be vigilant against imprisoning ideas he came up with himself.

Over time, however, Ben did corral his own thoughts and made them serve him instead of him serving them. This did not keep the panthers and bears away. He simply had a better time of life because he ran his life. His thoughts no longer did.

The same for you dear reader (dear watcher). Are you a prison of your own thoughts? These thoughts can be about little things, large happenings or even tragic events. What are you telling yourself with your thoughts? Are these thoughts contributing to your happiness or misery?

Would you be free of your prison of thoughts? Release yourself by changing your thoughts. No, it not as easy as my saying it. You have to put in effort.

But just knowing that you can change your thoughts, allows you to give yourself the permission and the power to change your thoughts. Do not let yourself be incarcerated by your own brainwork.

What you think, you are. Think differently and you will be different and your world will be different. Begin now.

This has been Dr. Bob 4 U, and I invite you to change your life for the better by claiming your Free Instant Access to a Force-Source-Resource including a monthly newsletter titled The Force-Source-Resource Newsletter. Just Click Here. Remember, one bit of information can give you a lifetime of satisfaction.

My Vlog: http://themeaningoflifewithdrbob.com/drbobslifephrases