The Meaning of Life with Dr. Bob

Happiness is already within you. And to be happy is the meaning of life. At the same time, this concept is awkward in helping people to make it their own. But once it is grasped, it seems very easy to know.

Shelia was an astonishment to me. I was astonished because she seem to be quite self-organized as I casually observed her over the course of years in my coaching community.

I was surprised again when she said, “Dr. Bob, it seems I have two degrees of happiness. Or two rooms. Or something. I’m not sure.”

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Of course, I asked her to say more.

Shelia said, “I am quite happy with my life. Our kids are normal enough for teenagers. My husband still pays attention to me in many ways. We live in a great neighborhood. My job, in which I take pride, helps us live within our means. But at some other level I am not aware of happiness. There seems to be some kind of separateness between me and happiness.”

She had thought her situation through; that was obvious. Shelia had known her challenge quite well. I do not use the word “problem” in this context because Shelia was concerned with something positive. More like an uncomfortable rash. If the rash were not cleared soon, however, it might become inflamed and cause distress in the entire organism.

Shelia had fallen prey to one of the most significant challenges to be seen in humans. Ninety-nine percent of us do not understand that we are have happiness within us right now. We carry it everywhere we go. We still are conned into the myth that happiness is found only in the outside world. I have even found scholarly work that purports that happiness if found if one does certain things. If you will do this or that, then you will be happy.

Please don’t get my wrong. Some beyond-skin events and things may help a person fortify their happiness. But outside happenings will not bring a person actual happiness. Why? Because they are impermanent. Time passes. People and things change or disappear. Whereas happiness within lasts. It even imprint upon the soul as the soul passes from lifetime to lifetime.

Couple these ideas with the perception that happiness is within us right now, and there develops a powerful and profound feeling about one’s existence.

Happiness is enthroned within you now. It has never been elsewhere. One needs only to look for it within. Its residence with you does not rest upon time, place, circumstance, wealth, poverty, religion, ethnic heritage, or anything else. The only item you need is a felt connection between you and the Divine.

I said this much to Shelia. She promptly understood the insight. However, she did ask what she must do. I said it was not a matter of doing; it was more of a connecting. She trusted me enough that the guided meditation I suggested was readily accepted.

That meditation went something like this. Let your thinking slow down. This usually takes a little for the average person. Imagine then the grandest unconditional love that you can. That love takes its own configuration as your imagination flows. Many “see” a flow of living energy between themselves and Unconditional Love. Just enjoy the feeling this connection brings to you. If your mind strays from this prospect, do not reprove yourself. Refresh the link. When you feel the need, come back into the room.

This linking with Unconditional Love is movable. The connection does not rely on the time of day, or where you are in that moment. It is accessible to you always because it is in you.

People who experience this attraction between themselves and Unconditional Love tell me they feel profound happiness. For many it is as deep as they have ever felt. It is like a tap-root growing unfathomably into the Soul of the Universe.

We all carry this happiness already. Shelia discovered that. You can too. Make an inner nexus between yourself and Unconditional Love. You will find fundamental happiness there. In that happiness will be discovered, also, great meaning for your life.

I invite you to claim your Free Instant Access to some of Dr. Bob’s Resources and a monthly newsletter: “The Force-Source-Resource.” You will find more about yourself and the meaning of your life. Just Click Here. Remember, one bit of information can give save you a lifetime of frustration.

Ed shambled into my office. He seemed to be a very relaxed character with his clothing in slight disarray. He seemed as one who was in a perpetual weekend around the house. I asked him what was happening in his life.

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He said, “I just don’t like that there isn’t any meaning in my life. I have goals and all that. But where do the goals led?”

I said, “Well, to undertake your challenges, I need a short history. Tell me about your life.”

It was a lengthy tale that wondered all over the map. Here are the main ideas: He remembered being punished severely when he could not understand the spelling of the words “soldier” and “shoulder.” This incident in his childhood stuck in his memory. He recalled how he had spilled some milk on the dinner table. His father punched him on one side of his head, which knocked the other side of his head against the wall. The following day there was a knot on both sides of his head. Then he told how his stepmother band him from participating in any after school programs or clubs because she “knew” what kids did when left alone with each other. When parents’ night came around, and he was on the varsity team, his folks just didn’t show up. He had to run onto the field by himself. I have only related some of Ed’s life history.

Story telling is as old as humankind and the development of language. Long before the written word was developed, we sat around fires at night and told stories. Some stories passed the time; some stories were to prepare younger generations. Some stories were based in truth; some stories were complete fables.

The point of your knowing of Ed’s story and story telling in general is: We are the stories we spin. Those stories are the drama we cherish for ourselves in our memories. We are what we tell ourselves. Some of those stories are true. Some we believe are true. Some fabrication or myth may have stolen into what we think. Whether truth, partial-truth or fiction, we are the stories we tell of ourselves.

For Ed, his life-narrative was what he told of himself. He recited to himself his tale of parental maltreatment and negligence. Certainly Ed’s childhood was not as bad as some kids have. But his left Ed scarred. When he conveyed this story of hurt, he relived all that negativism. So, instead of happiness or contentment, he felt only worthlessness. If his parents caused him physical and psychological pain, that must be Ed’s lot in life, he thought. The only meaning he had in his life was abandonment and humiliation.

He was still carrying the weight of his childhood even though he was an adult of some 45 years of age. He kept rehearsing his story of negativity. He did not think of himself as worthy of happiness and meaning. He could not fathom that they might be part of his just due. He repeated and repeated his negative story of himself and his worth.

What could I do to help Ed? I said to him, “Ed, you have developed this autobiography to the dismissal of other potentialities. You rehearse with yourself your negative story. Don’t get me wrong, Ed. You had a rough childhood. But you give so much value, negative though it is, to your history, you cannot find happiness or meaning now. You’ve got to change your story. Only when you give more value to your life as it can be now, will you find happiness and meaning. Anything only has the value you give it.”

“But all these things happened to me,” Ed said.

“I believe you,” I said. “But today is the time for change, when you want meaning and happiness.” I gave Ed some homework: Actually writing out what was positive in his life. I asked him to write out what he really wanted to give value to. We met six more times. Each session we retold Ed’s present day history, which was quite good even though he had given superior value to his past.

The idea for you is: If you have a negative past to which you have given undue value, CEASE. Start a new story of who you are right now using your mature mind and looking positively at your present history. Release the past. I did not say discard your memories. You may need or want to keep them. I mean that your truer history is now and what you give value to – now. When you give events and thoughts of yourself affirmative weight, now, you start down the path of meaning and happiness.

I invite you to claim your Free Instant Access to some of Dr. Bob’s Resources and a monthly newsletter: “The Force-Source-Resource.” You will find more about yourself and the meaning of your life. Just Click Here. Remember, one bit of information can give save you a lifetime of frustration.

This history is more about a group of people as opposed to a single individual. But make no mistake, the principles in this group history apply to individuals as well. When groups find themselves at an impasse about money, they need to understand that when they deal with The Source of All There Is, they are dealing with an Unlimited Force. Likewise, when a person believes that happiness cannot be found because there is a scarcity of it, that person needs to understand the true nature of the Universe. That is, the Universe is a Limitless Resource.

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So, we were meeting in committee. Our organization was in a slight financial crisis. Every year about that time, this finance committee met to examine the budget and our cash flow. Almost every year it was the same old story. We were slightly short of our budget needs and committee members were wringing their hands. They spouted a tale of woe and how there was never enough money. We certainly couldn’t ask our membership as a whole to contribute more. There was just not enough.

They bought into the idea that there is not enough to go around. That we would never complete our budget because people just didn’t have any more to give. When one thinks scarcity, that is exactly what one finds. Too many people are taught that there is not enough to go around. So you better get yours while the getting is good. Think lack and lack you shall have.

But now it was my turn to speak to the situation. I said, “We are dealing with an Unlimited Source. That Source is given many, many names. But no matter what you call It, It is still Boundless. But when anyone declares that there is poverty, poverty is the result. When a group (or an individual) declares abundance, there is bounty. This is because we are dealing with an Immeasurable Source.”

The funny thing is, I had to relate this every year to this very same committee. From a year ago, they had seemingly forgotten my words. When I had finished delivering my abundance speech, they invariably gave me incredulous looks. They did not believe it. What is more, when what I said proved out to be true in the process, they still forgot. It was as if they sometimes displayed group dementedness in reverse. That is, their long term memory was lacking while their short term memory was intact.

So, the committee reluctantly vowed they would try to raise the money. But they doubted that it could be done. However, it was accomplished year after year when they gave just the barest hint that “my” abundance theory might be correct.

As the chief fund raiser for the organization, it was my responsibility to see that funds got raised. The finance committee gave their reluctant approval of my efforts to raise money from an Unlimited Source. Which simply meant I could use the committee’s name on correspondence asking for more money. That way the committee members did not have to place themselves on the front line. If we raised the necessary money, they could claim credit. If we did not, they could say they were just going along with me out of good manners.

I said this applies to individuals as well as organizations. When a person believes and, therefore, lives like there is not enough to go around, what happens? They see lack everywhere and in everything. As a matter of fact, by their attitude they repel abundance. Abundance, as it were, cannot harmonize with these feelings of restricted flow. It is as if the harmonization that is intended by The Source bounces off the adverse vibrations of scarcity. As happens when two waves are headed toward each other as in a swimming pool. The two waves crashed into each other and rapidly disperse. Whereas two waves going in the same direction meet to travel together. The waves bring themselves into accord, so to speak.

The committee was always “cheerily surprised” to have met the budget and then some. When I depended upon the Illimitable Resource that is The Universe, there was always enough money. I convinced enough people in the organization that there was abundance. They found it in their hearts to respond as if there was more-than-enough.

You, as an individual, will be pleasantly surprised as well when you depend upon The Originator of The Universe. In that Source you will find everything you need. That Source is Boundless.

I invite you to claim your Free Instant Access to some of Dr. Bob’s Resources and a monthly newsletter: “The Force-Source-Resource.” You will find more about yourself and the meaning of your life. Just Click Here. Remember, one bit of information can give save you a lifetime of frustration.