The Meaning of Life with Dr. Bob

Harry had phoned for an appointment. We made the usual pleasantries. It was visible to me that Harry had something on his mind, but was frightened to come right to the point.

Finally I ended the hesitation and asked, “What can I do for you Harry?”

“Dr. Bob, I just don’t have any ambition,” he said. “I don’t want to get out of bed in the morning.”

The rest of the text for this blog/vlog is after this video pane. (pain?)

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLTaGMj3pa0

Initially a psychological or spiritual counselor needs to understand in situations like the one Harry was presenting in terms of whether or not there is a physical condition underlying everything else. “Harry,” I began, “have you been to see a medical doctor about this?”

He said that he had and all results were fine. If there are no underlying physical problems, then, of course, we need to look at any psychological or spiritual needs.

“Harry, how happy are you?”

“Not very,” he replied. “But what’s that got to do with anything?”

“It may have everything to do with your motivation. Your mental and spiritual states fuel your will to achieve. If you are not happy, you just don’t have the vigor you may want to have.”

He gave me an empty look as if he did not comprehend. He did not realize that happiness had anything to do with how he moved forward in his day. Most of the world’s people do not understand the substantial connection between how they are spiritually with how they stimulate their actions.

I defined for Harry how things might be within himself and in his representation in his work day. I asked him to look at the primary level in school. The heavy emphasis on learning the multiplication tables, for example. The tables are a bother to commit to memory. Many students balk at the travail it takes to be proficient in multiplication. What they do not realize at that young age is that these tables will help them get through life more easily than if they did not memorize them. The point is that when you do not know the memorized tables precisely you cannot use them in later life. There is another example: The little poem about how many days each month has. I cannot even begin to gauge how many times I have used that verse. The long and short of it is, if you do not have something inside of you, you cannot easily use it on the outside. Something was missing in Harry’s inner sets of awareness and appreciation.

I checked a little and Harry was forthcoming. He really wanted help. He said he had the “requisite” things that were supposed to provided happiness.

But I pointed out to Harry that he was not happy, really. He had accumulated every “thing.” But had no base of spirit within to enliven him. Harry had no idea that happiness encouraged his experiences in life.

So, using the examples of the multiplication tables and the poem of how many days each month has, Harry began to see that unless he was happy, his motive to get out of bed in the morning would be lacking. He doubted this whole idea. Harry is a persistent insurance professional. So I asked him how he felt about customers on one of those days when he was less than motivated. He said he almost couldn’t care when trying to assist persons become properly insured. He said that if he did not need to earn commissions on a regular basis, he would not care at all about his clients’ needs.

Harry needed to work on his happiness. I asked him about his link with The Source of All That Is. Even though Harry had been in my coaching community for a number years, he still had not made an association between himself and The Source. Did he meditate? No. Would he please try this method of making a connection between The Source and himself? Yes. We went through an elementary meditation method. I asked him to try this for 15 days and then make another appointment.

Harry tried my proposition. After the 15 days, he said. “I am feeling better already, Dr. Bob. I never knew what I didn’t possess. I really feel like getting up in the morning. I am amazed at how quickly I accomplished this. What do I do next?”

Obviously Harry had gained a new perspective in a short time.

Here is a hidden idea about the meaning of life and your happiness. Happiness drives your capacities. If you are not fundamentally happy within yourself, you cannot be as able as you might be in your life, relationships, job, etc. Happiness comes to you through a genuine relationship with The Source of All That Is.

I invite you to claim your Free Instant Access to some of Dr. Bob’s Resources and a monthly newsletter: “The Force-Source-Resource.” You will find more about yourself and the meaning of your life. Just Click Here. Remember, one bit of information can give save you a lifetime of frustration.

Many people do not know how to start to meditate to find their way to meaning and happiness for their lives. It is something with which I had personal experience as well as helping others to begin their road of meditation.
Lois knocked on the door frame of my office door, the door itself being swung open entirely. I bid her come in and sit down. Lois was in her mid forties with deeply tanned skin. She obviously spent a great deal of time in the sun. She was rather short at about 5 foot 4 inches tall. I asked her how I might be of help.

The remainder of the text is immediately after this video pane. (pain?)

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OeiSHcASwCY

Lois said, “I am having trouble getting into meditation. It’s like a foreign language to me. Actually, sometimes, I can’t get my mind to slow down. Other times I fall asleep. When I am awake during my attempts at meditation, I have nasty thoughts that I try to push away, but they hang on and destroy my time in deep thinking. What’s up with me?”

“The things you describe are very natural, especially if you just starting out,” I said.

Lois continued without any prompting from me, “I want to try to discover my happiness and the meaning of my life as you taught us. I just can’t seem to get started properly.”

I then gave her my list of 8 tips that would help her meditate.

1. Everyone starts learning meditation by dealing with the “monkey mind.” We call it the “monkey mind” because we have a tough time turning off all the mental activity. It seems our minds spring around and around, up and down, like a spooked monkey.

2. What you are seeking is a connection with the Divine or whatever you name what many people call God. (Whatever name works for you is fine.) This unity is built over time and practice. But it is where you are going to find the meaning of your life and happiness.

3. Give yourself time. As the sessions of meditation go by one by one, the mind will run down, like the mechanism of a wind-up watch. How soon or late for you specifically this will occur, I cannot say. Each person will be unique. I guarantee, however, that if you faithfully meditate well-nigh every day, you mind will stop its ceaseless springing about.

4. When thoughts come to your mind, in the beginning of your rumination sessions, just “look” at those thoughts and let them pass through your mind. When you simply accept whatever thoughts come to your mind and not force them away, they will run their course. Peace begins to come to you in that moment.

5. By the same token, when nasty thoughts come to mind, look “directly” at them. Do not try to escape them. Suppose someone said something unpleasant to you earlier in your day. Those words and the hurt that you felt keep presenting themselves to your mind. Let them come to you; they will leave your mind soon enough. It is just the normal process of thinking. When you know this and allow it within your frame of reference, you will furthering your peace of mind from your very first session of meditation.

6. Sometimes we fall asleep when thinking deeply while in a comfortable position. This is natural. One thing you can be thankful for is that you have relaxed enough to fall asleep. That in itself, the relaxation, is of immediate benefit. However, you may need to be somewhere and if you fall asleep, you might miss that appointment. I use the very simple idea of purchasing a cheap timer, but one that does not tick-tock. Usually these are run on a battery. I picked up one for $2 at the supermarket. Set the number of minutes on it that you want to spend in meditation. It will wake you if you need to be awakened. I also use the timer because I usually lose track of time when thinking deeply. With the time set, I do not need to concern myself with the time getting away from me.

7. Face eagerly any negative thoughts that come up into consciousness. Maybe your mind wants you to deal with your weight. Maybe the bills you need to pay keep “interfering” with your deepest thinking. My point is, just face them ardently, and then let them go. Your mind is such a marvelous instrument that if you confront something, which you may need to do in life, the thought will present itself to you, then fade away.

8. People are generally impatient; they want all their meditative work to be complete in one session of meditation. It does not work that way. You can gain some peace in that first session. You can acquire a beginning at understanding the meaning of your life at that first time. You can garner commencement of happiness in the very first session. Your life will change for the better beginning in that first session. But life is much more complicated than anyone, I repeat, anyone can tackle in one sitting.

9. (Bonus Tip) There are many ways to meditate from the traditional sitting and thinking deeply, to the walking-around type. There is also the deeply-observing kind of meditation where one examines something as intensely as possible. Let’s say it is a blade of grass. One observes the blade from every approach. Absorb its color. Watches it shudder in the wind. In other words, become as savvy about the blade as is possible. The point is this: If one form of meditation does not work for you after you have it given an ample trial, look for another method that you really find useful. Simply “google” the word meditation on the Internet. A wealth of techniques and methods will be found.

Lois wrote down these tips. She said, “That really gives me a handle on how to begin.” Over time, as I noticed her in our context; she seemed to become better before my eyes.

There you have 8 tips, plus a bonus, to help you begin meditation. Through such work you will find meaning for your life. Meditation will also help you feel happier immediately.

I invite you to claim your Free Instant Access to some of Dr. Bob’s Resources and a monthly newsletter: “The Force-Source-Resource.” You will find more about yourself and the meaning of your life. Just Click Here. Remember, one bit of information can give save you a lifetime of frustration.

Judy knocked on the door of my office. The door is usually open but had just finished a private counseling phone call. I had not yet gotten up to open the door.

She was a woman in her thirties, nicely dressed, hair in place and a smile on her face that did not reach her eyes. Something was up.

Remainder of the text, if you would rather read than watch, is immediately following this video pane (pain?):

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfFrpZFo06U

I invited her to sit down. When she was settled she came right to the point of her visit. “Dr. Bob, I just can’t understand what it means to be happy. I have all the best things, including a loving husband and three adorable kids. Even a dog and a cat. But I just don’t know happiness. Can you help me?”

“Judy,” I said, “I can help you define happiness. But you will have to do the work to capture it on your own. But let’s start with a definition.” I told her happiness comes in at least these 8 parts:

1. Connect with the Source of All That Is. Internally we all need to develop and maintain a connection with the Divine. We do this through meditation or prayer. Some time during the day make 5 or 10 minutes available for meditation. This connection with The Divine is the foundation upon which the other 7 principles are built. This alone will give your life meaning.

2. Accept yourself just as you. This is not difficult though many folks believe it is. All you need do is make the internal, spiritual and mental statement to the affect of this: “I am fine just as I am.” You see, anything only has the value you give it. Give yourself value now.

3. Rely only upon yourself for your happiness and meaning. So many people believe that outside things and people will bring them happiness. If they just acquire everything and everyone on their list, they feel they will be happy forever. That is just NOT true. Happiness is self-based and lasting happiness can only be self-based. Look only to yourself to fulfill yourself.

4. Know who you are. The same elements that make up all the stars in the Universe are within you. You are conscious of your own existence. Quantum physics suggests to us that not only have we the same chemicals in our bodies as do the stars, but also the Universe acts more like a Consciousness than like mindless ingredients. Can you see where I am going? Your physical and mental capacities match those of the Universe. What does that make you? A Universal entity. You are an offspring of the Universe. This is who you really are. Live up to it.

5. Know you are deserving. Many folks believe they do not deserve a good life, however they define the term “good.” But because you are an offspring of the Universe, you deserve whatever you legitimately desire. When you are willing to extend effort to achieve or acquire what you deserve, the Universe works with you to see that expectation fulfilled.

6. Hold a positive attitude. Nothing will destroy your internal happiness more quickly than a negative attitude. You see, a positive attitude is like the clothing of happiness. When you “wear garments” of positivity the Universe automatically stands with you. Why? Because the Universe’s attitude is positive – the Universe accepts all. When you wear the garments of negativity on your internal happiness, you are making a liar out of yourself.

7. Dwell on your strengths; improve your weakness. We all have strengths and weaknesses. And we all know this. Live from your strengths and you reinforce the feelings of happiness held within. Build up the weaknesses you have, to make them stronger. To make your weakness stronger gives great satisfaction. But spend more time with your strengths.

8. Help others. When you beam your happiness into the world to contribute to the well-being of others, you complete a circuit of happiness. You were knit yourself together as a child of the Universe. You have found the means to be happy within you. This is a beginning of a flow. But the flow is not complete until you give back. Then the current of the Universe can flow through you. Do not neglect this last piece of the happiness and meaning puzzle. You neglect it to your self-produced peril. You give back and life flows in its natural course. And, so to speak, you start again at the foundation of happiness within.

Judy absorbed this lengthy lecture on my part. She said, “Wew, that’s a lot to take in at one time. I need to come back and we need to go over this again.”

I said, “That’s fine. Why not work on being in touch with The Divine between now and when next we met?” She allowed that was fine with her.

Over the next several weeks, Judy came to have a new appreciation of herself and what her happiness and well-being meant.
Here is a reiteration for you:

1. Connect with The Source. (The foundation.)
2. Accept yourself just as you are.
3. Rely upon yourself for your happiness and meaning.
4. Know who you are.
5. Know you are deserving.
6. Hold a positive attitude.
7. Dwell on your strengths.
8. Help others.

Follow these and you secure your happiness no matter what is or is not happening in your life.

I invite you to claim your Free Instant Access to some of Dr. Bob’s Resources and a monthly newsletter: “The Force-Source-Resource.” You will find more about yourself and the meaning of your life. Just Click Here. Remember, one bit of information can give save you a lifetime of frustration.