The Meaning of Life with Dr. Bob

The Meaning of Life, to Be Happy, and Making Your Life Work

Tom came to the door of my office. Even before he had a seat, he said, “I’ll probably never be happy.”
“That’s quite a statement, Tom,” I said. “What leads you to that conclusion?”
“I have failed at marriage twice now. My kids can hardly stand to be around me. And I just feel miserable.” (He gave the word “feel” a significant emphasis.)

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“Tell me about all that happened in your life.”

He led me down a trail of woe. I’ll skip the details here, because they may sound all too common and you may, therefore, dismiss them. Moreover, if they are not exactly like yours, you may feel that this article does not apply to you.

The following, however, applies to every human being. You make your life what it is. You can take the attitude that it is possible for your life to work – and if you never give up hope, it will work.

Stuff happens in life – to all of us.  All kinds of things and events can give you the impression that your life is not working. And whenever you see through the “I’ll never be happy-glasses,” that is exactly what you will see. Change the glasses, however, and your life can immediately turn for the better.

Believe that it is possible for your life to work. Never give up the hope that it will work as well as you want it to.
I know this sounds too simplistic. I get that all the time. Tom said,”What you say is too easy. It’s got the be harder than that.”
I agree that there is work to do in each and every life to make it as the person wants it to be. But the basic principle is solidly on bedrock, simple as it seems to be. Doing or being with this new spiritual and mental posture does not cost you anything in the way of money. The energy behind this task of looking at your life differently than you have, is FREE. It is merely the expenditure of spiritual energy of which you have all you need. Open yourself to the different power this way of thinking has for you.

“Yes, you will have set backs,” I said to Tom. “You may find yourself sliding back to old ways of thinking. You may think that you could never possibly be happy. Stop yourself in that moment and change your way of thinking to a more positive approach. Stopping yourself and changing directions is not hard to do. You just have to do it. Over time, as you do this stopping and changing directions, you will be become more and more successful at it. Give yourself enough time to change your spiritual habits and you will find that your life will work – when you never give up hope that it will.

Tom, is seems, took this advice to heart. He stopped by the office several weeks later. He said, “Dr. Bob, I do have to stop and think about what I am saying to myself. But, as you said, over these last weeks I have developed new spiritual strength and my life has turned around.”

I invite you to claim your Free Instant Access to an occasional newsletter “The  Force-Source-Resource” where you will find more about yourself and your strengths. Just Click Here. Remember, one bit of information can give save you a lifetime of frustration.

All kinds of people, from all walks of life, in your country and around the world are searching for meaning in their lives. They have missed what is right under their noses. Everything you do, everything you say, everything you think is an expression meaning.

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Examples abound. Let us take two wildly disparate events that you might do in your life.

First, sending email. Why might you send email? To respond to someone else’s email to you. Someone has expressed a thought or a happening and reckoned enough of it to send you an email. You have appreciated the email. Therefore, you send an email back thanking the person. Or making some other kind of statement. You found meaning in the email you received. You gave meaning to your life by responding with a reply email. Probably that’s one of the reasons that most email applications have a very handy “reply” function built in. You expressed yourself and your ideas through that email.

Second, taking your significant other out to dinner. Your significant other is special to you. That “specialness” is recognized by you. You want to give further significance to your relationship. Buying them dinner at a nice restaurant can express a measure of meaning you have toward the kinship between the two of you.

I could go on, but I bet your get the point.

The reason you get up out of bed in the morning (or whatever time) is because you need to work or do some other important task. So you have given your rising meaning. You give your work attention because it is meaningful to you.

Did you catch the word “meaningful?” Whatever you do, think or say is an manifestation of meaning.

So, to give your life meaning, all you need to do is value the events of your life. Give value to the words you say. Give value to the thoughts you think. You can always find meaning in the event that is presenting itself to you right now. You are reading this article because it has meaning for you.

The meaning of your life is to be happy. You will find meaning in everything that you do by valuing everything you do. Happiness is an internal aspect of who you are. That internal happiness can be reinforce by meaningful events, from the “out” to the “in.” You give those events meaning. Internal happiness can be expressed by what you give value to on the outside, from the “in” to the “out.”

Want meaning in your life? Realize that everything is an expression of meaning.

I invite you to claim your Free Instant Access to an occasional newsletter “The  Force-Source-Resource” where you will find more about yourself and your strengths. Just Click Here. Remember, one bit of information can give save you a lifetime of frustration. Comments are welcome.

Thelma came through my office door looking as if she had seen a ghost. It turned out that she needed the same kind of help that countless others had sought from me. Thelma was just defeated by life.

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She said, “I just want to give up. Everything I try seems to get me nowhere. It would be easier just to stop trying. We all die anyway. So what’s the use.” She never looked at me through this whole statement.
That usually means a person is also carrying a great deal of self-shame. I knew that Thelma’s problem would be a tough row-to-hoe, too. Anybody who verbalizes their discontent with life at the depths Thelma was plumbing, is in bad shape.

I had Thelma tell a few of the stories she had about her life. It was filled with woe. Then I asked her what she had done to try and reverse her tendency to want to give up.

Again she said, “What’s the use? The end of life comes and you are finished, anyway.”

We explored reincarnation and the goal of rebirth – to come to that enlightened state where connection to The All made sense and made for a feeling of victory. For Thelma this was a brand new concept. She had never thought of her life as having a sort of permanence. The subject of karma was introduced. Thelma had never put the pieces together where what one does has consequences either in this life or some future life.

“Yes, we die anyway,” I said. “But we can make this life count for something simply by being aware that our lives have great influence upon those people and things around us. When we can see that our lives have meaning in this moment and in every moment of the future, we no longer want to give up. We want to do all we can because all of it counts for something.”

Thelma thought for a moment and said, “But that sounds like I would just be adding another burden to all I have already.”
“It can sound that way at first,” I said. “This is not meant to add burdens to your life. When you relax into it, you will see that the moments of your life are opportunities. Those moments are chances to find import in everything you do.”

“You mean I don’t have follow a rigid, specific road with all the possible problems that can have? I just accept that what I am doing right now is significant? That simple?”

“Yes, yes and yes,” I said. “Just that simple. And when you go away from our meeting today with that attitude, you will see and feel immediate results.”

Thelma got up to leave and I could see an immediate change in her demeanor.  As she was leaving I imparted to her that she would need to seek this attitude on a regular basis. In other words, I was telling her, and I tell you now, that change does take effort. But it is not the burdening kind of effort. It is a relaxing effort in that your never need fear that what you do means nothing. Or that failure is the end. Everything in life positively builds toward the future when you want to see it that way.

Yes, we all die “anyway.” That, however, is no reason to give up. You make life count for something, no matter what is happening, by using this moment to build toward a appreciable future in this life or the next.

I invite you to claim your Free Instant Access to an occasional newsletter “The  Force-Source-Resource” where you will find more about yourself and your strengths. Just Click Here. Remember, one bit of information can give save you a lifetime of frustration.
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