The Meaning of Life with Dr. Bob

In the meaning of life, as I define it, to be happy, there is the place where you fit into life. Not knowing this is sad. In such a mood as that Gerry came through the door of my office. Shoulders drooping, countenance ashen, she eased herself into the chair as if she were positive that if she moved “wrong” she would cause herself great pain.

The complete text of this blog continues after the YouTube pane.

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16tn72bAi4Y

I asked her how she was doing. “That’s just it, Dr. Bob. I just came from a weekend with my in-laws and I feel ridiculous. Where do I fit in?” She told me of how they, the in-laws, seemed to exclude her. How, at first, it seemed like her imagination. But no, as the weekend wore on, she realized they were deliberately being rude and belittling. She said she tried to understand why this was happening. Gerry said she always had problems with feeling like she did not fit. At first thought it was her own emotional tone that made her feel as she had that weekend. However, the more aware she became of her own feelings, the more she realized it was not all her.

Here was an authentic life challenge for Gerry for two reasons. One, she understood that because of her own feelings, actions and words by others could set off her own negative opinions of herself. Two, actions and words by others can be designed by them to maneuver a person in the direction of being an outcast. Both are real challenges, one coming from a person’s interior life and the other from exterior life.

What to do? How to help Gerry see that she fit no matter what was happening outside herself? And quickly done too. She appeared desperate.

“Gerry, do you understand the idea of ‘Universe’? That there is the whole, the entirety of creation?”

She allowed that she thought so. I asked if she believed she was a part of this whole.

“Well, yes, if I am in the Universe, then I must be part of it. What’s the point, Dr. Bob?”

“The point is that if you are part of this entirety we name the Universe, if you were missing from it, would it be the same?”

“Of course not,” she replied. I avow to you that at that precise moment, as she finished her reply, the color began to return to her face. She then made the intuitive leap. “I am part of the Universe, so … I fit no matter what.”

Here is where I needed to let her be in her thoughts and not interject more than was necessary. Sometimes doing that, interjecting more information than is needed, just gums up the works.

With a smile, Gerry said, “I never thought of it that way. Is it that simple? Yes, it is. And no one can ever take my place.” Her physical expression going out of the office was the complete opposite, I would say, of her way of moving when she first came in.

You must to understand that your life is a needed and integral part of the Universe in which you live. Your place can only be taken by you. No one can replace you or what you represent to the Universe. You often cannot easily see this. But it is there and part of the meaning of life. In that meaning, obviously, when you feel you fit, you will know happiness.

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