The Meaning of Life with Dr. Bob

“She doesn’t seem to have her own personality.” So remarked my wife about the person one of our relations was dating. “Nice person, sweet, but no life of her own.” My wife then went on to say that it seems more women than men have this problem.

She said they go from their parents’ home, to college, to marriage, never having experience being “on their own.” I said it probably happens to men as well. She said she thought it did too, but much more so to women.

That’s the point of this post. Too many folks listen to the dreams and goals other people have for them. Some folks are so used to hearing about what others want of them, they have never had an original thought about themselves.

There’s the classic case of the father trying to live out the missed opportunities in his youth through his now teen-aged son. The father wants him to be a great football player. But they kid has true interests elsewhere, though he doesn’t know it because he had never had a chance to develop his own way of thinking. Maybe the kid really excels in drawing but never gets the chance to follow that dream because the father wants him practicing with the football every spare minute.

You cannot be authentically who you really are until you claim for yourself your own dreams and goals. Heed them. When you make yourself follow someone’s else ideas for you, you have given away your spiritual freedom, at least, and maybe all the rest of your freedoms.

What does that mean? What does it mean to heed your own dreams and goals? First you must discover what they might be. Has some life-path been poking at you? Have you felt rebellion against what others wanted (want) you to do? Because of that rebellion have you found yourself contemplating a different goal or dream? Wanting to test your wings in that direction?

Heed those inklings. Explore the possibilities. See if what you are thinking will fit you very well. You may not hit-the-nail-on-the-head the very first try. But it will not be long before you will find your true path. Warning: Your true path may be very distasteful to those who formerly tried to run your life. You have to be ready to deal with that.

Once you are discovered your new path, walk down it boldly. In other words, take the risks you need to take to find out if this is for you. Check with your spiritual side as well. See if this is a spiritual fit for you as well.

You see, heeding your own dreams and goals has to do, ultimately, with the meaning of life. The meaning of life is to be happy. You cannot be happy even superficially if you are following what someone else wants for you. There, beginning in this minute, heed your own dreams and goals.

And I invite you pick up more info about heeding your own dreams. I ask to you sign up for Free Instant Access to some of my Force-Source-Resources. One of which is titled, “How to Use the Spiritual Circuit to Be a Good Person.” Remember, one bit of information can give you a superior point of activation.  These resources will change your life. Please sign up now in the upper right hand corner.

“What’s meaning of life?” Steve asked. “I just feel so useless.”

“How are things going on the job?” I asked. Steve was a successful contractor and had a great home, nice car, lovely family with wife and three children, two grandchildren, with another grandchild on the way. He said they were all fine. Even in a poor economy his reputation as contractor had kept him going with just a bare minimum of lay-offs.

I paused for just a moment to give us both time to think. Usually men don’t ask such questions, even of a Life Coach, as I was. So he was serious and needed a substantial answer. Not a pat on the head and send-him-home with an at-a-boy canned speech.

I said, “I see you are dressed very well today, as always. Where do you buy your clothes?”

“I spend a lot of time at the haberdashery downtown. They are expensive but most people notice the quality of my clothes.”

“How much time a week do you spend in that store?” I asked.

“Now, that’s a silly question, doc. What’s that got to do with anything?” Steve riposted.

“Bear with me here, Steve. Please answer the question.”

He screwed up his face and thought for a full 30 seconds, thereabouts.

“I guess I spend ½ hour to an hour each week there.”

“I bet they appreciate your business,” I said.

Steve chuckled, and said, “With what I spend there, they ought to appreciate me.”

I went in for the kill, “How much time do you spend inside, with yourself?” Now, I’ve actually had men get up and leave without a word when such a question is asked. Not Steve. He hung in there.

Thinking some more, he finally said, “Certainly not even a ½ hour a week.”

“There’s your problem and your solution, Steve,” I said. He gave a quizzical look but made no move for the door. I proceed to help him see for himself that he spent more time at the clothiers than he did communing with the Divine Consciousness. He actually listened. (He was serious.) I suggested to him that through daily meditation of ½ hour he could connect with the Meaning of Life and never again feel useless.

“I need to concentrate more on my inner life,” Steve said, as we shook hands on his way out the door.

Boy Concentrating by John-Morgan http://www.flickr.com/photos/aidanmorgan/ / CC BY 2.0

“Yes,” I said. “The meaning of life, your life, is found in centering  on one little life phrase: Concentrate on your inner life.”

And I invite you pick up more info about inner concentration. I ask to you sign up for Free Instant Access to some of my Force-Source-Resources. One of which is titled, “How to Use the Spiritual Circuit to Be a Good Person.” Remember, one bit of information can give you a superior point of activation. These resources will change your life. Please sign up now in the upper right hand corner.

I write for EzineArticles.com as you can see by the hype to the right. The people behind EzineArticles are very good about providing statics to help the authors who submit articles. Most recently we authors all received the November figures. The one article of mine that consistently draws the most views has to do with life phrases. Phrases that sum up what life is all about. Hence, the meaning of life.

So, I am going to start a ten part series with today’s blog post using those life phrases.

Acknowledge Your True Self.

We learn very early in life that to get along, indeed, to survive, we need to fit ourselves into the molds that others present to us. Yes, we start out by crying when we are hungry or need our diapers changed. Someone usually responds to these needs of ours. But we soon discover that we need to do something in return.

It could be a smile when we are cleaned and the cleaner needs a reward for the effort. The cleaner makes a sound or sounds indicating satisfaction or love . The cleaner and the cleaned are reinforced when there are smiles all around.

If we want to make the football team or the cheerleading squad, we must perform as specified. If we want the raise at work, we must meet the required conditions. If we want to keep a personal relationship intact, we act as is needed to preserve that connection. You get the picture.

But are we acting as we really are? Or are you playing a role that the play may go on as dictated by the script? If you are play-acting, then you are

not true to yourself. You are true to someone else. That can be good. That can be bad.

Fulfill your own expectations. Take relationships for example. You are in a friendship but as it develops you come to realize that your partner in the friendship tries to manipulate you. The other person wants you to do things their way. And they make it clear that it’s their way, or the highway, for you. You then have to consider who you really are. Do you really want to do things the way your companion says? Maybe you do. If so, fine. But suppose you discover the ways your friend wishes you to act or speak are not really you?

You then must claim who you are, even if means losing the friendship. Why? Because you are being someone other than who you really are. You are violating your own integrity. That’s no way to be happy, the meaning of life.
So, acknowledge your true self. Be authentically you. Anything else is spiritual murder. Yes, it might be tough to lose a friend. But what is better, losing a friend or keeping your real self? I know you know the answer to that question. Start being your true self today.

And I invite you to understand still more about being your true self. I ask to you sign up for Free Instant Access to some of my Force-Source-Resources. One of which is titled, “How to Use the Spiritual Circuit to Be a Good Person.” Remember, one bit of information can save you a lifetime of frustration. These resources will change your life. Please sign up now in the upper right hand corner.