The Meaning of Life with Dr. Bob

The meaning of life and detachment from all things and people has to do with Juan. Juan had just lost his mother to her passing from this earthly plane to that which follows. His was 26 and considered himself a tough guy. Tough, not in the sense of swagger, but in the way of having extricated himself from gang life when he was 20. He had spent 4 years in the army, seen a tour of duty in combat zone. He had survived and come home and found a job.

He had seen some of his buddies die in combat. Others wounded and maimed for life. He had had minor wounds, enough to earn a Purple Heart. But none of this had effected him as his mother’s death. He was broken up. He felt shattered. He cried a lot. Of course, this crying was mostly done in private. He did not want anyone to see him as a wimp.

However, he just could not get over his mother’s death. So he came to see me and asked if I could help. We talked for hours of his childhood and the fond memories he had of his mother. She was always there for him and his siblings. They were poor by many standards but, he said, he never felt deprived.  When he got into gang trouble, his mother worked tireless to help him free himself from the gang.

He was attached to his mother. And who would not be in his circumstances? Gently, over a few sessions together, I got him to see that his continuing pain was being caused by this attachment. He had to learn to let go. No he did not have to let go of the memories. He needed to cut lose from his attachments. While assuring him it was not the same thing, I asked him how it felt when he left the gang. I knew that the gang represented a father image for him. He said it was tough but the gang was bad and so leaving wasn’t too tough.

I mildly said that detaching from his mother’s life was similar. He did detach from the gang, though they had been a male-like refuge for him for 5 years. With a little added strength he could keep his mother’s memory alive within him, but detach from over-bonding with her.

He said, “You’re asking a very hard thing.” I said that, yes, I was. But if he wanted the pain to cease, or at least lessen over time, he needed this detachment.   And, with the passing of time and his spiritual effort, Juan came to let his mother go. He still honors her and keeps her memory. But his life is not centered around her and her life.

That’s the key. It is very difficult for folks to detach themselves from people and things. It is so hard because their lives have been centered on those people or things. The Buddha said all life is suffering. But suffering can end when we detach from people and things. It is one of the hardest task people face when seeking to reduce their suffering.
What can you do to day to begin to end your suffering? What person or thing do you need to detach from? Remember, you do not need to leave them or despise them or forget them. Do not need to sever your relationships with persons. But no one and no thing can be the center of your life, save your concentration on the Divine. When you make this part of your personality, your suffering will lessen and cease.

And I invite you to learn further about your life and your needs. I ask to you sign up for Free Instant Access to some of my Force-Source-Resources. One of which is titled, “How to Use the Spiritual Circuit to Be a Good Person.” Remember, one bit of information can save you a lifetime of frustration. These resources will change your life. Please sign up now in the upper right hand corner.