The Meaning of Life with Dr. Bob

Pete came to me with a problem, he was having trouble discerning the meaning of life for himself.  He had cleaned up his act. He was a womanizer and had gone through two marriages because he just could not stay out of other women’s beds. Through sheer will power, he stopped picking up strange woman. Even ceased going to the places where he usually made easy pick-ups.

But it wasn’t enough. He still felt miserable about himself. About his wrecked marriages and one child’s feeling, a child from his first marriage. He felt these great urges to conquer every beautiful woman he met. He wanted a real and lasting relationship with one woman, but knew he was not in any shape to find and keep such a relationship.

That’s when he came to me. He thought that as a life coach I might be able to help. I admit I was a bit overwhelmed with Pete’s situation. But he was so open and desperate that I thought we, together, might find a solution. He seemed to genuine want to change and truly find a path of redemption.

So, we began exploring. Was he neglected as a child? No. Was he abused? No. What was his mother like? Fine. How about his father? There he came to a “screeching halt.” I could see the light go on in Pete’s face. His father was a tyrant around the house, especially with Pete’s mother. He had to rule or he was not pleasant to be around, to say the least.

Pete looked at this long and hard. He found out, by himself as he sat with me in my office one day, that he believed his father was right. He held the belief that the man must rule over the woman. And the way he carried that belief out in his adult years was to seduce and conquer every woman he could. I asked, “Is this an appropriate belief to be held now?”

“Obviously not,” was his reply. Try to believe me when I say that you could actually see the relief drain away the tension from Pete’s body. A sea-change was visible, like the tide rapidly rolling out, in Pete’s entire demeanor. He leaned back in the chair in which he was seated and closed his eyes. Minutes went by. I finally asked, “Are you all right, Pete?”

He said, “I never knew I had that dogma within me and I never knew beliefs could hold so much power.”

“They have precisely the power we give them,” I said. “Unexamined beliefs can be the most powerful motivators in our lives, either for good or ill.”

“You got that right, doc,” Pete said.

“What you going to do?” I asked.

“I’m going to work to get that belief changed in my head,” he said.

“You know it won’t be exactly easy and it may take some time,” I said.

“Why is that, doc.?”

“Your mind has built a powerful habit and methods around that belief. They can be changed, erased, even. But you’ve got to put forth effort.”

“At this point I have felt so miserable for so long, I’m going to make the effort it needs,” said Pete.

Over the next couple of months Pete and I saw each other on a professional basis two or three more times. He was indeed up to the task of changing his belief. Two years later he met someone new. They dated for six or seven months, married, and 15 years later, they are still together and seem quite happy. Pete has made peace with his kid from the first marriage and they are adult friends now.

Belief is the most powerful motivation in a person’s life. If you are having trouble, still, within your life, maybe it is time to look at your beliefs.

By Ford http://www.flickr.com/photos/ford/ / CC BY 2.0

To be happy as the meaning of life is, obviously, relevant here.

Examining your beliefs usually takes some help. I have tools for you to use, when you are ready. Are you ready now? I ask to you sign up for Free Instant Access to some of my Force-Source-Resources. One of which is titled, “How to Use the Spiritual Circuit to Be a Good Person.” Remember, one bit of information can save you a lifetime of frustration. These resources will change your life. Please sign up now in the upper right hand corner.

A subscriber to this blog asked an interesting question. The person said that their act was cleaned up. The destructive pattern in their life was stopped. So much so that many years have passed since last the pattern was relived. Yes, I am being deliberately vague, for two reasons.

The first is so that no one can be identified by the question.

The second is because so many of us, myself included, though we’ve cleaned up our act, still have bad feelings about ourselves. In other words, this blog could apply to many, many people.

How do we begin to feel good about ourselves? And this applies to the meaning of life how?

The meaning of life is to be happy. Obviously, then, if you feel bad about yourself, you are not as happy as you might be. So, let’s start there. After you have made what reparations you can for acts or words that have hurt or harmed in the past, what more can be done to feel good? You have repaired as much as is possible on the outside, now you need to look inside.

This involves finding your own innate goodness. Yes, I said innate goodness. You are a part of the Universe. The Universe is inherently good. I

Feeling Good (by ROXIERIDER at Flickr.com/photos/roxierider)

say this because I believe that the Universe is Love made visible. If this is so, and you are part of the Universe, then you are inherently Love. Love is Good. I base my thoughts not just on belief but on science. There seems to be a Charge of Life that makes the Universe work. The Universe is perpetually remaking Itself. In the Remaking there can only be the motive of Creation. Something sees Itself as needful of being visible. Only something that sees Itself as Good can create Life, in my view. Whew! Allow me to leave it at that. Any more might distract from the real question of how to feel good about one’s self.

So, you are inherently Love. But where do you find that Love? Within yourself. It is there, you just have to make contact with It. You do that through meditation. Deliberately calming yourself and making a connection between your self and that Love. Meditation teaches us to let the distractions of life go and center in on Love. Another word for Love, in this case, is happiness. You center down on happiness by making connection with the Creative Consciousness that is the Universe. When you make that connection you feel good about yourself. I know because this is the way I did it. But more than me, wiser ones than I, by far, have said the same throughout the ages of humankind.

So that’s the number one way of feeling good about one’s self. The second is close behind. Find out what in your mental make up is causing you to feel the way you do about yourself. In other words, what beliefs about yourself do you still hold that perpetuate bad feelings? Root those out. Then change those beliefs. This is done by giving value only to what you prize. Your beliefs about anything are only as strong as you make them. Anything only has the value you give it. (When you need further help with this idea, I suggested the you contact the Lefkoe Institute. Internet contact can be made through the link under Websites and Blogs I Recommend in the right hand column.)

Now, don’t think that because I have written less about discovering what beliefs you hold that might be causing bad feelings, that I consider this of lesser importance. It is simply that this post is getting too long. Please check in next post to see further discussion.

In the meantime, I invite you to further understanding of yourself. I ask to you sign up for Free Instant Access to some of my Force-Source-Resources. One of which is titled, “How to Use the Spiritual Circuit to Be a Good Person.” Remember, one bit of information can save you a lifetime of frustration. These resources will change your life. Please sign up now in the upper right hand corner.

There once was a pilgrim whose name was Anton. He sought the holy place where it was said that the Spirit of his God dwelt. He walked the dusty roads of the great distance it was from his home to the shrine. He walked at a leisurely pace, stopping frequently for rest and relaxation. He believed his God would still be there whenever he arrived. His fellow pilgrims sometimes envied him his easygoing rate. They felt themselves in a far greater hurry to reach the shrine and worship. But these fellow pilgrims could find nothing wrong or sacrilegious in the Anton’s pace. They found no fault in his answer that the Spirit would be there whenever he arrived.

One day, near his journey’s end, Anton felt ill. He only traveled two miles that day. The illness just debilitated him. The next day, just a few steps down the road and Anton collapsed and died.

His fellow pilgrim heard of this, of course. They said of Anton that he appeared to be a good man. But maybe his timing was off. Surely the Spirit would still be in place, but Anton would not be at the shrine whenever. . . .

What he needed to have done, they said, was to boost his level of will and sincerity. One doesn’t ever know, they said, when one might want to have accomplished something when it turns out to be too late. Anton, they said, had needed to increase his level of personal will to reach his goal as soon as humanly possible. Surely he did not need to put himself under undo pressure, for God would be there always. Yes, they said, he needed to deepen his commitment to his goal.

And, they said, he needed to increase his apparent level of sincerity. Of course, they couldn’t tell what his degree of sincerity was. No one can read another’s soul. But it appeared as if Anton, to them, didn’t really care all that much. Or he would have picked up the tempo of his travels.

They shook their heads in incredulity as they increased their own tempo of walking and thought, within themselves, of their own will to worship

by Black.Dots.

at the shrine as soon as possible. Were they more like Anton than they would admit, even to their fellow pilgrims?

Are you like Anton? Do you want happiness and, therefore, to know the meaning of life? But you think it will always be there? What’s the rush? It is true, happiness will always be there within you. No need to stress yourself over it. But what are you missing when you don’t put as much of your will into as you can? If you only pretend sincerity? Or, at least, shave off some of the sincerity you have stored up within you?

Seek the happiness that lies within through Connection to the Divine Matrix as best you may right now. Though God is always there waiting for your to make the link between the two of you, perhaps it behooves you to dip deep into the well of your sincerity and draw forth all you can carry right now.

And I invite you to test your will and sincerity. I ask to you sign up for Free Instant Access to some of my Force-Source-Resources. One of which is titled, “How to Use the Spiritual Circuit to Be a Good Person.” Remember, one bit of information can save you a lifetime of frustration. These resources will change your life. Please sign up now in the upper right hand corner.